Friday, December 18, 2020

A Morning Rant

Just because something is natural doesn't mean it isn't also disgusting.  

Case in point, I saw a commercial the other day.  Part of it shows a woman lying on her back in bed.  Then she rolls onto her side and you can see a bloody splotch on the back of her sleep shorts and a corresponding splotch on the bed beneath her.  I assume the product was feminine napkins, but... gross.  Yeah, periods are natural, but no one wants to see that.  I was eating at the time, you sick freaks.  And that which has been seen cannot be unseen.  In my brain forever, assholes.  Thanks for that.

I don't want to see people throwing up either.  Or eliminating their waste.  Or fucking.  All natural functions, but come ON, let's have a bit of decorum here.

Seriously, in what fucked up world is any of this okay to show on TV?  Or even in the movies for that matter?

Sure, the scene in Revenge of the Nerds where Ogre is pissing and it takes forever is kinda funny, but you don't actually see it - you see the back of him and hear it.  And it's that kind of movie.  There's a dude named Booger in the movie, for pitysakes.  You know pretty early on, it's going to be that kind of movie.  The scene in Pitch Perfect where the gal mega-barfs?  Not so much.  And gross.  And even then, they had to kick the grossness up a notch by having the one gal making snow angels in it. 

And if you want to see fucking, there's a whole series of channels for that.  Go for it.  But don't put it where the unsuspecting can stumble across it.  (Looking at you Direct TV with your porn channel listings that just suddenly showed up one day between Sundance and the outdoor sports channels.  The titles alone make me want to gouge out my eyes.)  

I'm old school.  Natural stuff happens, but there are more elegant ways to convey that.  Close the door, go behind a bush, use sound off camera.  Hint at it and the majority will figure it out.  People aren't stupid (well, they didn't used to be) and can figure out what toilet paper is for without being shown someone wiping their ass.  And any female over the age of puberty knows what happens when her pad isn't fitting right.  Do we really need to see it, too?

Jus' sayin'.

And another thing... what's up with the poop background choice there Facebook?  Is that really necessary to the existence of your users?  Come on.


  1. I totally agree with everything you said. Except the scene in A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN when Jimmy Dugan is doing the morning after piss is pretty funny, but as you say, his back was to the camera.

  2. Ick. I'm surprised any of that made it past the TV censors. Movies, maybe, but I'd rather have a warning so I can avoid them. Though it does sound like they handled the ogre well.

    But on TV? Just ick. I'd never buy that ads' products!

  3. I thought I was the only one who thought this way. :D

    When we eat in front of the tv, I want to know what we're watching is safe, otherwise I'll go elsewhere. I won't put up with that crap.

    Thank you for saying what I've always thought.