Friday, September 4, 2020

A More Civil Place

My tolerance level for other people was bad before, but this year it's hit all time lows.  So, in order to maintain some level of sanity and not find myself constantly on edge, I've been culling the herd.  In real life, I don't have much to cull.  I don't know that many people and the ones I have contact with are in my life for a reason.  Usually, the reason is that I like those people.  My online life is a whole other story.  Sometimes I find myself faced with comments or posts, and wondering 'who the hell are these people?'  Which is usually followed by 'why are they even here?'  Which makes culling them exceptionally easy. 


Sometimes that isn't enough, though.  Then I whip out the Unfriend.  And more often than not, Unfriend is followed by Block. 

I keep seeing this meme thing making the rounds on FB.  It goes along the lines of "I'm an adult, so I can still have friends I don't agree with'.  :shrug:  I prefer the 'I'm an adult, and I choose not to be friends with specific individuals for whatever reasons without guilt or shame'.  Or even "I'm an adult, so I can be civil to people who don't share my basic philosophies.  But I don't call everyone my friend."

I'm not even sure how to be friends with people whose ideas of life and philosophy are antithetical to my own.  Civil.  Cordial.  Friendly, even.  But actual friends?  Umm... nope.

If I call you 'friend', it's because I can talk to you without worrying whether I'm going to offend you or you're going to piss me off.  If I can't feel that way around you, how could you ever be my friend?  Friendship isn't about having to walk on eggshells or sit on pins and needles just to be around someone. 

I know that I could walk into my best in-person friend's office right now and tell her anything without fear of censure or repercussions.  And I could shoot an email off to my best online friends about anything and feel the same way. 

To me, that's friendship.  The rest is just acquaintance-ship.  I'll be nice.  Until it's time to not be nice.  And even then, I won't be rude, I'll just let you go on about your life without me in it.  Buh-bye. 

I don't do conflict.  I won't confront anyone about anything.  I'll just walk away.  Seems to me if more people took that stance, the world would be a more civil place.  And maybe that's what we need right now.

Jus' sayin'.

1 comment:

  1. Preach it, sister! You and me? Yeah. Right there.

    Sometimes, I feel bad about not keeping track with semi-friends and acquantances whom I like on the social media sites but the thing is? I have to scroll through all the dreck, stupidity, and idiots writing to masses because they think they'll sound cool or they're just out-and-out trolls. No time for them and my blood pressure is high enough as it is. (162 over 81 not so terrific.) I really do want to change my FB profile pic to my personal sticker of my head exploding! Anyway...

    The older I get, the more insular I get and while I have no in-person best friends anymore (except for Only--thrilled to have a kid and BF all rolled into one), I depend on my on-line friends for the necessary social contact and interaction. Thanks for being one of them! 🥰