Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Sometimes, The Idea of a Thing is Worse

I weighed myself yesterday.  It had been 3 weeks since the last time I weighted myself and frankly, I was sure I'd be disappointed with the number.  After all, I've been baking and eating a lot.  And with the weather being craptastic, I haven't been active.  And with the stress I haven't wanted to do anything inside either.  

I gained two-tenths of a pound.  That puts me at 182.6 - a pound up for the year.  Better than the four or 5 pounds I was sure I'd gained.  Which goes to show you that sometimes the idea of a thing is worse than the thing itself.  

I was going to say 'fear' there instead of 'idea', but I'm not afraid of gaining weight.  It is what it is.  Gaining weight just means more work.  And while I am terminally lazy sometimes, I'm not afraid of work.

It's the same with writing/editing.  Although there is a bit of fear there, it's the idea of being done and sending my work out into the world only to see no sales that, more often than not, keeps me from working.  And this is even when I've had some good feedback on said work.  

It's not the work itself.  Right now, it's me staring down the barrel of a net income of a nickle for the month of February. That's with holding three sales this month.  And that's only if the per page price in KU holds.  It might only be four cents.

Imagine if I'd actually exercised and eaten less this month only to gain weight.  That's what it's like.  

But let's turn that around.  What if the idea was instead that I bust my buns on this book, send it out into the world, and see loads of sales.  If I look at it that way, the only thing holding me back is me.  

Don't let the idea of a negative outcome stop you from doing your thing.  Don't let it stop you from even trying.  'Cuz the only way to consistently fail at anything is to not do it.

It's like I tell myself sometimes in poker: "You lose every hand you fold."  

Okay, so what's something you're not doing because the idea of failing is stopping you?  What's something you've lost in the past because you folded rather than seen it through?  

Personally, I would've had a straight flush the other day if I'd followed the cards all the way to the river.  Pissed me off to no end.  Here's hoping Duke Noble is a straight flush kind of book, because I'm damn well gonna see this through to the end.


  1. Good on you and wise advice! You and FDR. I like your philosophy much better.

    I'm not writing not out of worrying about failure but because...well...I think I'm bored. Which sucks. The book really isn't boring and we're talking Sade, Sinjen, and the "Scooby Gang" here. They definitely aren't boring. I love the characters and the series but it's not exactly one of my better sellers. I know that and it hasn't stopped me before because there's always hope that the next book will be the one to catch fire. Of course, I keep that in the back of my head on all my books.

    I'm sitting here stumped, now on my second cup of coffee. It might be due to the fact that I woke up at 2:30 and haven't been back to sleep. You know that feeling. I'm not really afraid of failing if I attempt something. That $h!+ happens. And I was that double dare kid back in the day. Challenge me and I'd say, "Here, hold my beer!" even if it was just a Dr. Pepper. That doesn't make me more persistent or braver or harder working or anything but not too smart sometimes.

    Anyway, I totally get where you're coming from and I'm one of those looking to enjoy Duke Noble. And if he doesn't play on-line poker, he should. Just sayin'... *HUGS*

    1. He would if he could, but this is set pre-internet. I wanted this to be a nod to the old noir stories, so no computers, cell phones, etc. Maybe in a future book I'll have him playing actual poker. Smoking a cigar and drinking his vodka tonics.