Friday, September 28, 2012

Aunt Dot's Guide to Household Weaponry

Hello, Dears.  My niece is feeling a little scattered this morning - she's been such a busy little thing these days - so I thought I'd just drop right in and talk to you about pinking shears like she said I would.  Although to be honest, I don't know why she picked pinking shears.  Oh they make a pretty pattern, but they're fairly silly for actually cutting anything.

Oh, I suppose one could stab at someone with a set of pinking shears.  They're pointy enough on the ends.  And if you were in a sticky situation, you could open them wide and slash at a masher.  But for actual damage, I'd prefer something more along the lines of a good carving knife.

What, Leo?  Oh right, B.E. asked me to try and stick to non-traditional weapons.  So knives are flat out.  Well, maybe next time I can talk to you about how to smash know-it-all husbands upside the head with a pig-shaped bacon press.

Have a lovely day, Dears, and don't forget to keep those household items handy. You never know when you'll need a weapon.  ;o)

1 comment:

  1. Good afternoon, Miss Dot. My pinking sheers are heavy duty. They open wide and can be used quite effectively to lead miscreants by the nose, fingers, or other...*ahem* appendages. Just sayin'...

    Please come back to visit next Friday. I know your niece will still be very busy so I will visit with you. Would you like tea? And some rhubarb pie?