Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Lizard-palooza: An Interview with God

Today, we have a guest post by none other than JB Lynn's masterful creation, God the lizard.  Take it away, God.

I was pleased when B.E. asked me to do this guest blog post in celebration of CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN being released as a paperback. She is obviously a woman with discerning taste, since she chose to ask me, Godzilla (but you can call me God…Godzilla is just so pretentious, don’t you think?) instead of Maggie, the title character of the book.

I decided to use the 10 questions James Lipton asks his guests on Inside the Actors Studio.

  1. What is your favorite word?
  2. What is your least favorite word?
    Actually it’s a phrase “humanly possible”…it’s just so… limiting
  3. What turns you on?
    WHEEL OF FORTUNE! And true crime shows. And telling Maggie what to do.
  4. What turns you off?
    Dead food….and dogs (their grammar is atrocious)
  5. What sound or noise do you love?
    My own voice.
  6. What sound or noise do you hate?
  7. What is your favorite curse word?
    As a general rule, I don’t approve of cursing. Sentient beings should be able to express themselves without resorting to the use of crude language. I must admit though, that living with Maggie has affected my vocabulary.
  8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
    Profession? I am king of my universe. All my needs are attended to. Why would I want to be anything else?
  9. What profession would you not like to do?
    Anything that would require actual work.
  10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
    “An endless supply of live crickets awaits you.” Or “Are you ready to spin the wheel?”

CONFESSIONS OF A SLIGHTLY NEUROTIC HITWOMAN is now available as an e-book or paperwork through the fine retailers listed at the HarperCollins site.

A lifelong resident of New Jersey (something she hopes you won’t hold against her), JB Lynn doesn’t care if the cup is half full or empty; all she cares about is whether it’s regular or decaf! She writes with a parrot on her shoulder, two dogs at her feet, and a patient husband in the next room. To learn more about JB and her books, please visit www.jblynn.com.


  1. Great interview, God! You're my kind of lizard with that answer to number 9!

    To JB - read the first chapter that B.E. had posted a link to the other week - hilarious! Looking forward to reading the whole thing :)

    *waves to B.E.*

  2. LOL, a lizard who knows his place in the world. And no doubt WAY cooler than that dorky gecko who has to sell insurance for a living.

  3. Janet -- Thanks! I hope you enjoy it when you read the book!

    Mary -- I'm so glad you loved the book. Thanks for stopping by!

    Teri Anne -- Oh WAYYYYYYY cooler (just ask him)

  4. Thank you so much for stopping by, God. I'm honored by your presence. And thanks to JB for encouraging him.

    :waves back at Janet:

    Glad to have you stop by Mary. Thanks.

    Oh yeah, Teri, he's so much better than the gecko.

  5. Such a good book. I don't know how I almost missed this interview. Very fun.