Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Insane External Editor

Aarrgghh.  I'm editing everything lately.  Just now on the news, a guy said something like 'we don't know whether they're alive or not' and my first reaction was to reword his sentence into 'we don't know whether they're alive'.  The 'or not' isn't necessary.

I proof the headlines on CNN, ESPN... I proofread the Weather Channel for petesakes.  We were watching a show the other day - some kind of real life mystery - and the title of the episode was "Till Death Do Us Part".  'TIL!  Unless it was about a farmer offing his wife with farm equipment the word is short for UNTIL. And they showed the title at every commercial break.  I was about tearing my hair out over it.


When I speak, I start sentences and reword them as I go.  It's like a bizarre kind of stutter, but instead of repeating a syllable or sound, I say the same thing three different ways.  "It's a beautiful... It's a lovely... It's a gorgeous day outside."

My husband is a peach, but it's got to be driving him nuts.  My god, it's driving me nuts and I barely have to listen to myself.  He should have me committed and I wouldn't blame him - especially since I've started correcting  him, too.  And he's an intelligent man.  I've gone mad.  They'll be fitting me for a straight jacket any day now. (Not Daughter, btw.  She's used to me correcting her... you know because of the teacher/student thing.) 

Somebody stop me before I edit again.  I've created a monster and her name is internal editor.  The problem is: She's escaped the internal...  She's gone... :gasp: EXTERNAL.

If I somehow disappear, send help.  And make sure whoever you send has a large butterfly net and a big bag of marshmallows.  (Because, as everyone knows, the insane love marshmallows.  They're so squishy.  Squishy squishy squishy.)


Cheap product promotion for which I get SQUAT: For t-shirts that say it all (my favorite was the one that says "Writer: Not Crazy, Just in Rewrites" but unfortunately won't allow me to save a picture of so you can buy): IncognitaShop at  They have cute shirts for writers.  Too bad they're in the UK.  Bleh.

 *All images deleted to avoid any chance of copyright infringement*


  1. I'm sorry your internal editor has broken free. *hugs*

  2. LOL! I find myself doing the same thing, especially if I'm in the midst of a rewrite. Best wishes!

  3. I could edit and re-edit endlessly. I nearly drive myself mad sometimes.

  4. Is that why we love marshmallows? I never knew! lol