Monday, April 13, 2009

Excerpt Monday

Brought to you by Romance Divas. Hey, it was their idea. I'm just going along for the ride. And after reading some of the excepts, I'm so glad I did. I'm proud to be in such good company.

So, here's an excerpt from Dying Embers - a suspense I wrote and queried last year. It's just a nibble of the first scene, but I think you'll get the picture.

Dying Embers
Chapter 1

As she approached the twisted Mercedes’ wreckage, its cracked side mirror winked at her like they shared some unspeakable secret. The wind blew through her mousy-brown hair, making the leaves of the grand old trees waver and the moonlight dance across the pine straw. All around her whispered the soft hush of the forest and faint noises from the road. So peaceful. She could almost forget what she’d done, if not for the sickly, wet gurgle.

Standing beneath a tree a few yards above, she couldn’t tell if the sound emanated from the vital fluids dripping out of the engine, or from her husband and his mistress. Maybe it was the tree as its sap oozed from a wide gash where the metal had ripped away the bark. The car was dead. The other three would die soon enough.

She only felt sorry for the tree.

Her intention had only been to send them down the embankment to the gully below. If she’d known a tree would stop them partway down, she would’ve planned the whole thing better. If she’d planned the thing at all, this would’ve gone so much smoother.

Whatever Will had done, the tree didn’t deserve to pay for it.

“Hello?” a harsh voice rasped in the night air. It was filled with pain and the wet sound of too much spit or too much blood. The noise was so soft anyone else wouldn’t have been able to tell who survived the impact, but she knew the cadence deep inside her, even before her brain had time to register it consciously.

“Hello, Will,” she whispered back. With a slow deliberateness, she nudged a rock down the steep hillside. It bounced off one of its many brethren with a loud clack, and her smile widened. Except for the poor tree, she picked the perfect spot.

“Hello?” he said louder, his terror filling the air and echoing off the jagged crags. “Is someone there?”

Her lips curled into a sneer as she bent to pick up a rock. With a deftness born of many summer softball games, she tested the weight of it in her hand and then hurled it against the one unbroken pane of glass left.

The sound of its shattering came only an instant before Will screamed like a little girl. Or maybe it was his cheap hussy.

If she was lucky, they were both alive. Their heartbeats would mean her plan hadn’t completely failed after all. Oh, she wanted them dead, but not too quickly. If she was going to spend the rest of her life suffering from their betrayal, the least they could do was spend a little time suffering themselves.

Anyway, the idea here is to also post links to other Divas' excerpts and maybe generate some buzz for everyone. Please understand, I haven't read all these excerpts and some of them are more along the lines of spicy, steamy, or sexy than my work. Read at your own risk (RAYOR is beside some I thought were too spicy for me, but I'm not a fan of spicy).

Here goes:

Bria's Page
Sue's Random Ramblings
Disenchanted Doc
Vivienne Westlake
Jeannie Lin
Kinsey W. Holley Excerpt Monday
Becca Sheridan-Furrow
Kirsten Saell, The Chancellor's Bride (RAYOR)
M. Bertier's SilentDreamer
Scenting Cinnamon - A novella
Evie Byrne: Bound by Blood, Book 2 of the Faustin Bros. Trilogy.
Kate Willoughby
Eden Bradley
RF Long
Stephanie S
Inheritance by pixiedust
Stardust (RAYOR)
Jamie Babette
AJ Chase
Toni Sue
Isabelle Santiago
Annie Nicholas


  1. wow! And I thought I had the handle on cold, calculating characters. Great description, and I'm definitely hooked.

  2. Wow! You drew me in from the very first paragraph. My favorite line is "She only felt sorry for the tree." Holy horticulture, that speaks volumes, don't it? You've got me hooked, baby.

  3. Oh wow. This is intense. Nicely done. I'm very intrigued.

  4. I agree. Great opening. She's one cold woman!

  5. Ohh, very chilling and powerful. I feel awful but I want to cheer her on.

  6. WOW! What a great excerpt! Makes me wish to read more. ;)

  7. That's one scary character! The excerpt has me wondering what she might do next!

  8. Man, she is cold. I loved this:
    "She could almost forget what she’d done, if not for the sickly, wet gurgle"
    That jerked me right into the story.
    Great job. Very chilling.

  9. The opening paragraphs hooked me. Great description.

  10. Very nice. Seriously creepy character. I also like her regret for the tree, but for nothing else. That's a wonderful detail that shows so much about her and the situation.

  11. Really intense. A lot of characterization in very little space. Nicely done!