Friday This n That

And it's Friday again.  This week, I was so turned around on what day it was, I didn't even think to say my usual Thursday morning 'talk to you Saturday' to mom when we finished talking yesterday.  I think I was thinking that yesterday was Wednesday.  Derp.

I'm one big, apathetic, atrophied lump.  To that end, I'm trying to do some basic exercises every day or every other to work on building myself pack up to normal.  Which reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where George gets the summer off (The Summer of George) and decides to do nothing, but then he gets hurt and his muscles are so atrophied from doing nothing that it's way worse than it should be and there's a long road of physical therapy ahead of him.  

Yeah, I've watched every single episode of Seinfeld multiple times.  It wasn't my fault, I swear.  Pre-Hubs, I was with two different guys for years each that were addicted to Seinfeld.  I haven't watched any of it since before I got married 22 years ago, but they're all still up there in my head.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, be really careful of what you let into your head, because it'll never come out.  I wish I could go back in time and walk out of the TV room where all the girls sat and watched Sybil together.  Horrible movie that's in my head forever.  Even the car accident couldn't knock that out.  More's the pity, I guess.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.  ;o)

This morning, I heard a weird noise.  Well, a series of weird noises on repeat.  My guess is that it was some kind of bugs bouncing on the aluminum flashing we tacked up to keep the squirrels out of the eaves.  And every once in a while, the bug or bugs would miss the flashing and hit the wood instead.  Plink, plink plink plink, plink plink, bonk.  Once the sun came up all the way, it stopped, but it was weirding me out.  Not sure what kind of bugs, because I could see them from inside and there was no way in hell I was going outside to look.  Bugs... :shudder:

I'm really better about bugs than I used to be.  I mean, living in the woods cures you quick of being bug-jumpy.  Now, it's 'oh, look a centipede' instead of 'EEK! a centipede!'  I still don't want them on me, though.

This week, my daughter turned 33.  I still maintain that I am not old enough to have a 33-year-old kid, but there it is.  

A few days ago, I posted something to Facebook about being fat.  It was just a statement, followed by some personal thoughts on being fat and steps I could take to not be fat, but I suddenly had people telling me what to eat and offering support.  I went and re-read what I wrote and nowhere in there was anything that could've been construed as asking for help or feeling bad about myself.  :shrug:  I guess I was just trying to make a statement that others might find useful, you know if they themselves are feeling bad about being fat.  Anyway, it turned into a kind of sociological experiment.  Can someone just make a statement anymore without people offering advice and opinions?  I don't know.

Ugh.  I have to go grocery shopping today, but it's going to be like 100F.  The plan is to get out of here as soon as the sun reached a height where it won't blind me while I drive east, but it'll still be in the 90s by the time I get home.  Wish me luck.

And on that note, I bid you adieu.  Have a great day wherever you are.  Stay cool, my friends.

Oak Mite Bites

 I worked on the rock path next to the front bed yesterday.  I was out there for about an hour.  Right after I came inside, I hopped in the shower and scrubbed.  This morning, I have no less than 8 new oak mite bites.  

Now, if you're not familiar with oak mites, they're not visible to the human eye, so you can't even pay them back for biting you.  Also, they don't so much bite as burrow.  Gross, I know.  Their bites are, perhaps, the itchy bites I've ever had.  Not sure how they compare to poison ivy, since I'm immune to that shit, but from the way Hubs reacts to his bites, they're pretty much on par.  

Unfortunately, our house is not only surrounded by oaky woods, we have a huge, old, white oak that overhangs most of the front yard.  And, you guessed it, oak mites hang out in oak trees - unless it's windy when they blow out or dry when they drop out on their own.  It's hard to go outside without being exposed to oak mites.

What does one do about the bites?  Well, pretty much every anti-itch thing on the market doesn't cut it.  (I've tried just about all of them over the years.)  In fact, Benadryl gel just makes the itch worse.  The only thing I've found to get rid of the itch is to take a fingernail, dig it into the center of the bite - which sometimes has a little blister in it - and dig it out.  Hurts like a bitch.  Then take a cotton ball soaked in rubbing alcohol - the strongest you can find - and scrub the bite with it.  Stings like a bitch.  THEN take merthiolate and dab some of that on.  Burns like a bitch.  It's pretty much all bitchy, but it's better than the constant, overwhelming itch.  

You may have to repeat the process.  I guess that's probably because the first round didn't actually get the mite out of your skin / kill the mite in your skin.  

Sometimes, I have to wait until the bite is at its itchiest before I do the above or I really will have to repeat the process.  It all depends on how much itch or pain I can stand at any given moment.

Sure, the easiest way to handle an oak mite bite is to stay inside.  I've heard bug spray works, too, but I hate the thought of having to spray myself down every instant I stepped out of the house.  If you can't do those things, you can try my method.  Unfortunately, your mileage may vary, so I make no guarantees.  It's just something you can try to ameliorate the itch.  

Please note that merthiolate quite often leaves a mark, so accept that you might have a scar thing in place of an itch thing.  I have made my peace with that.  

Please also note that oak mite bites seem to be more susceptible to infection.  Pay attention to those things even if you don't use my method.  A simple scratched bite can turn into something nasty in a hurry.  Rubbing alcohol is your friend.  

Now, if you'll pardon me, I've only treated about half the bites I had last night - the ones that wouldn't let me sleep - so I have to go gouge, sting, and burn myself.  

Things My Cats Have Taught Me

 The following is a list of things The Boyz have taught me:

- never leave coffee unattended.  Even if there are no cats in the vicinity.  Even if the cats in the vicinity are sound asleep.  If you leave your coffee, you will return to find either a cat with its paws/face in the mug or coffee splatters everywhere and fur or litter in your cup.

- focus on the warm spots.  If you get up from a chair, you have a 90% chance of finding a cat in the chair when you return. If there is a cat in your chair and you change chairs, the cat will want your new chair.  Or, if you have multiple cats, you'll find another cat in your new chair.  The same applies to getting out of bed in the middle of the night.  The cat will find your warm spot and fill it.

- trespassers can't be trusted and should be eliminated whenever possible.  If there's a bug anywhere in the house, the cats will find it and kill it.  This goes for mice/shrews/moles and birds (and once, when we had Max, a squirrel) as well, or anything really that's unlucky enough to try to come inside.

- sleep whenever you can / naps are important.  The Boyz are usually sleeping.  Except when they're keeping me awake.

- work whenever you can.  It seems like anytime I sit down at the computer, one or the other of The Boyz will come over to either a) get on my lap and make it impossible for me to type or b) get into trouble right behind me so I have to stop working to chastise them for being naughty.

- being naughty has its advantages.  When The Boyz are naughty, they get attention.  Sometimes they get treats (that's a slippery slope, I know, but sometimes it's the only way to redirect their attention).  

- never take things too seriously.  Not that The Boyz don't take things seriously.  Sometimes, they take things way too seriously - especially 'fraidy-cat Sawyer, who'll jump at the slightest sound, or Finn, who acts like I've set fire to all his hopes and dreams when I scold him.  Their reactions are what have taught me to not take things seriously, if you catch my drift.

;o)

The Coming Sno-pacalypse

It's Friday and Sno-pacalypse is supposedly on its way.  It's supposed to arrive after 6pm tonight, so I've still got today to do anything else that needs doing.  Except I thought it was supposed to be here earlier, so we already did everything that needed doing.  

I did the grocery shopping - two weeks worth in case we get snowed in.  The state of MO does a good job of clearing the highways, but the county doesn't do so great on clearing the side roads, so we can be kinda screwed living back in here.  It seems to me that the last time we got a snow event, it was a week before we could leave the neighborhood.  

I gassed up the car.  It's probably not going anywhere, but if we lose power, we can stay warm in the car for an extended period of time.  It won't be comfortable - 2 humans and 2 cats in a Chevy Cavalier - but it will be better than freezing our asses off in the house.

I also picked up enough cigarettes to get us through.

Hubs put new insulation in our well-tap pit, so it won't freeze in there.  This afternoon, he'll go over and turn the heater on in the wellhouse, so that won't freeze.  (A neighbor who's on a different well has already had his freeze this season.)  

I moved all my garage plants away from the windows and also brought a few inside for the duration.  Cecil the Cedar is in the spare room with Seymour the Nephthytis and my green pepper plants.  

Hubs covered all the windows in the garage to help retard heat loss there.  He also drained the plumbing in the garage and made sure there's no water in the toilet out there.  Just in case the heaters can't keep up or we lose power.  (We've already had to replace one toilet because it cracked due to cold - from when the house was vacant before we bought it.  That was fun.  Not.)  The heaters will be turned on tonight.

I already have a towel along the bottom edge of the front door to keep the cold out and the warm in.  Today, I'll put a blanket along the bottom of the doors leading to the sun porch.  Yesterday, I took the cushions off my patio furniture and used them to retard the air leakage from the sun porch to the deck.  (That door is horribly gappy.)  I'll also use some towels along the window sills to stop cold there.  I have no proof it works, but I did it in Michigan and it seemed to help.

Which leads to the reason to our madness.  We both grew up in Michigan and we know what cold weather can do.  We also know that this is southern Missouri, and most people aren't ready for any kind of snow or cold for any length of time.  These homes aren't built for polar weather.  The people are woefully underprepared.

After our first winter here, which was so suckily cold our furnace couldn't keep up, Hubs re-insulated using R30, so we've got that going for us.  I feel bad for almost everyone else around here who get by with the R5 we had before.  Hubs also put insulation around a lot of the pipes under the house and in the garage.  He's handy that way.

Anyway, if you're reading this and aren't quite prepared, there's still a little time.  (Maybe not to reinsulate your home, but for other things to get you by.)  Go forth and get 'er done.  We're gonna hunker down for the duration.  Stay safe and warm out there, everyone.  :hugs:

A Cautionary Tale

Saw this just now in one of my author groups.  It's a cautionary tale...

If you use Find and Replace, do not do Replace All.  I did it once years ago to change a character's name.  I think it was Tom and I changed it to something like Bob, so tomorrow became boborrow and tomato became bobato.  Cusbobers? Botbob? Ugh.  It was frustrating and irritating, and kind of hilarious in retrospect.  

Last week, I saw a similar story - only this time it was a reader saying the book they were reading had all sorts of weird errors and after thinking about it for a time, they realized that the author had Replaced all instances of 'ass' with 'arse' (probably to make it more British sounding).  Working on an arseignment?  Going to an arseignation?  Went fishing and caught a big barse?

In the above case, though, I'm not sure what 'too late' would be for a book. Post publication and after a slew of bad reviews perhaps?  Ugh.

If you're silly enough to make this mistake, the fix isn't that hard.  Once you realize you've replaced all your Toms with Bobs, do another Find and Replace, finding Bob this time and going through each separate instance... OR just replace all Bobs with Toms again, and THEN do another search for Tom replacing it with what you meant to replace it with in the first place - each instance separately.  Which is what you should've done the first time, but you got lazy and paid the price.

Sometimes, doing the work the right way, no matter what kind of boring slog it is, actually saves time in the long run.

If you've done it and didn't do that final run-through before you loaded it for publication, only to have people read it and leave bad reviews, you're kinda screwed.  Always check, recheck, and double-check before you hit Publish.  

Starlink, VoiP, and Roku... WOOT

Monday, I posted this on Facebook, but it's worth repeating here: "My Roku arrived and it's all hooked up.  This may have been the worst idea I ever had.  It has Red Green and Mystery Science Theater 3000 and all the Doc Martin episodes I never got to see because I started watching late in the game.  :swoon:  Oh, man, this could be bad for my productivity."

Turns out it's only bad for my productivity if I let it be.  Last night, I told myself 'you're going to write today', so I left Hubs in the living room watching some show about people building homes in Alaska and sat my ass down.  I cranked out about a thousand words, had a cigarette, then sat down again.  I ended with 2098.  My hands are ouchy this morning, but it was worth it.

Anyway, I'm loving the Roku.  I spent part of yesterday watching The Great British Baking Show and it's spinoff Celebrity British Baking Show.  Then I watched Dr G. Medical Examiner and a little MST3K.  Later, like I said, Hubs found that Alaska show to enjoy while I wrote.  We decided to go slow on the Doc Martin episodes so we don't get burned out.  There are like 18 seasons of that (2004-2022), most of which we haven't seen.  We're reserving it for one night a week, probably Saturday or Sunday.

It hasn't slowed the internet down at all.  Say what you want about Elon Musk, at the start of the year, Starlink saved us from Brightspeed's slow, sometimes non-existent, internet, and now it's saving us from the BS crappy phone - thanks to 1-VoiP - and skyrocketing bills through DirectTV.  

I'm sure at some point we'll run through all the shows we know we like, but there are scads of shows we've never seen that we'll give a try to at that point.  

By the way, going back to Red Green and MST3K, I laughed myself silly watching both of those, but I'll have to do small doses of them, too.  Too much of a good thing causes burnout.  And my face hurts from smiling too much.  We should all have such horrors visited upon us.

So, anyway, if you're like me and dragging your feet to get some of this newer technology, give it a try.  If I can get good service out here in the middle of nowhere, you can probably do fine with it, too.  It does take a little startup scratch, but in the long run, you'll save money.  Our combined phone and internet bill was $147 a month with BS, double that with DTV - so around $300 A MONTH.  Now, $120 for Starlink, $24 for phone, and the Roku is free.  All that for less than our phone/internet alone.  So the initial outgo for $600 Starlink and the $34 for phone and the $57 for Roku will be recovered by the end of the year.  Woot.

(Private thanks to my sister for recommending Roku and my nephew for getting her onto it.  This shit rocks, man.)

Thursday This n That

 Sawyer is being needy-kitty this morning and is now locked out of the office.  So he's outside the door meowing.

Life would be easier if it wasn't so hard.  Deep thought, eh?

If every tomato and pepper plant I have now actually fruited like it was supposed to, I'll be up to my armpits in tomatoes and green peppers.  Not a horrible situation, but what am I going to do with all that food?  Freeze it, of course.  Maybe I could sell them by the roadside or get a table at the farmer's market.  We'll see.  First things first, of course...  They need to grow and bloom and produce fruit.  :fingers crossed:

I have a tough enough time convincing myself to do marketing without getting things thrown in my way.  The urge to market against a sea of troubles is woefully low.

One of my sisters gave Mom something called a waterfall begonia for Mother's Day.  It sounds really pretty.  I got her mixed nuts and a tin of Walker Shortbread cookies shaped like Scottie dogs.  The begonia will last longer and not go to Mom's hips, but I hate buying plants for other people.  I never know what it'll look like when it gets there and whether it'll live.  

I got nothing for Mother's Day.  Yeah, I'm whining.  Wanna make somethin' of it?

Last I heard about the novella I read for that son of that dude was that the son went ahead and uploaded it for pub without listening to his writer dad or apparently waiting for input from me.  :shrug:  You can lead a horse to water, but sometimes all it does is eat the weeds and wander away. 

I'm not writing, so what do I know?  Like I have the right to tell anyone anything about this business.  Feh.

And that's more than enough out of me.  What's going on our your way?

Scams Abound

I hate that we have to be constantly vigilant so we don't get ripped off, but we do, so here are a few tips that might help...

In Facebook groups: 

If you see someone with a new account complaining about all the scammers... they're probably a scammer.

If you see someone boohooing about not getting any sales for their new/first/unloved books... they're probably a scammer.

If they comment on your marketing posts telling you how awesome your book is and asking you questions that they could answer on their own if they read the post or followed the link (like what genre it is)... they're a scammer.

If you can't pronounce their name (usually African, but sometimes middle eastern), but they have all sorts of awesome ways to market your book... they're a scammer.  (Like the Nigerian prince emails of yore.)

If they have some other sob story about anything... cats, kids, health... their probably a scammer.  Take it all with a grain of salt.

On the phone:

If they say they're calling from any one of several government agencies - the IRS, the local police, the prosecutor's office... they're a scammer.  Those agencies don't call you.

If they say they're from any one of several computer companies - Microsoft comes to mind, but also Amazon - they're a scammer.  Those companies don't call you.

If they say they're from your credit card company or your bank, they are most likely a scammer.  Hang up and call your bank or your card company using a number you already have.  Do not call any number they give you.

If you get a call telling you a family member is in jail, either here or overseas... they are a scammer.  If you are worried, though, call the family member in question before you do anything.  If you can't reach them, call someone else who would know whether they could possibly be where they're supposedly in jail.  Do not send money without verifying.

If you get any kind of call where someone wants you to send them a gift card to pay off a 'debt' or a 'bill'... definitely a scammer.  

You can also get a variety of these same types of scams via regular mail or email, chat message, text messages, etc.  Verify everything before you hand over any personal information or financial data.  Hell, I don't even use the word 'yes' when talking on the phone with a potential scammer.  "Is this B.E. Sanderson?" "This is.  What do you want?"  I'm not sure if it's an urban myth that these scammers use your spoken word yes to bypass actual authorization and take your money, but I'm not taking any chances.

Being paranoid helps keep you safe.  Hang in there out there and remember... Scams abound.

Labor of Love

What happened to Tuesday?  :shrug:  

Anyway, it's Wednesday.  There's really not much going on in my life right now.  I did spend a couple hours yesterday setting up for cover photos and then taking a bunch.  And then doing a mock-up of a cover.  They're pretty good pics, but I'm still not 100% in love with them.  I'll try something else today.  

Being self-published means wearing a lot of hats.  Not only am I a writer, I'm also an editor, a marketer, a cover artist, PR... chief cook and bottle washer.  It's kind of tiring sometimes.  Ya know?  And all of this for a paycheck that would make a mouse starve.  It's a labor of love, I guess.  

One really big upside to this is I don't answer to anyone else.  (Good thing, too, because if I was working for someone and not making money at it, I'd quit or they'd fire me.)  The cover choices?  Mine.  Wording?  Mine.  Ideas?  Mine.  Stand or fall, it's all on me.  It's kind of freeing.  I don't have anyone breathing down my neck pushing for me to get the book out.  Okay, so that's both a negative and a positive sometimes, but on the whole, this is a pretty good gig.

I mean, seriously.  I work when I want.  I write what I want.  I don't have to pay anyone a percentage of anything.  If I want to hire someone to do cover art or marketing or editing for me, I have that option and I still have creative control... mostly.  

Of course, working for myself by myself means I don't often have the scratch to hire someone to do anything for me.  I mean, I made $25 last month, and I was excited about it, but that don't put food on the proverbial table. $25... I spent that much on stuff at the thrift store to make the cover I'm working on.  Oh well. :shrug:  Labor... of... love.  Damn it.  ;o)

That being said, I'm not sure if I'd recommend this vocation to anyone.  Of course, if you're inclined to be a writer, you won't need recommendations and cautionary tales won't stop your drive to write.  If you're inclined to be a PUBLISHED writer, you'll make it happen, no matter the hurdles.  You do you.  

I do me - all the time.  

Start Today

Start today.  Whatever it is.  Whatever you want.  Start today working toward your goal.  You don't have to wait until the New Year.  You don't have to wait until Monday.  You don't have to wait until the beginning or the ending of anything.  If you want it, start today.

Personally, I've been slacking on my work.  If you've followed along on my Sunday Update posts, you'll see that I have done much of anything (except marketing) for a while now.  My book notes have been sitting here next to me all that time, untouched and ignored.  I started last night.  I sat down here after dinner and opened the manuscript.  I read a little bit of it to get back in the groove and then I got back to work.  

Start today.  Every day.  So what if I started last night?  I'll start today, too.  Every new day is an opportunity to start again.  Last night, I started back to editing.  Today, I'll start making this two days in a row.  Tomorrow, I'll start making it a habit.  

I also need to start exercising again.  I'll get back to my 'do something active everyday' starting today.  Even if I just ride the bike for 5 minutes, it'll be a start.  

There's nothing stopping you.  Or me.  Or any of us.  

What are you starting today?

Pretty Graphic for Sleeping Ugly

I know you know that SLEEPING UGLY is free right now, but I just wanted to post this graphic I made because I think it's pretty.

I splashed that sucker all over FB this morning, so if you've got any critiques, it's too late for that now and you will only harsh my morning.  

I'm sure some of you know exactly how hard it is making marketing graphics :cough:Silver:cough: but for the rest of you, this isn't just a matter of POOF there it is.  You have to find just the right background and just the right text to go with it.  Even then, you have no clue whether it's actually grabby to anyone but you.  (Unless you're already a marketing genius... this is for the rest of us.)  I've made graphics I thought we're really da bomb, and when I look at them later, I'm all like :sad trombone noise: so there's really no telling.  

One thing I have learned is that it all seems to go better if you have a graphic to splash rather than just letting the link in the text populate a clickable image.  That seems a little counterintuitive - like I would've thought that having a larger space to click would be more attractive - but in my experience, it's true.  More people click through and buy with a graphic and a link, than with just the link and its clickable image.  :shrug:  Also, some groups won't actually let a post without an image go through.  They're auto-blocked.  :additional shrug:

Anyway, I just wanted to leave this out there for anyone who might be contemplating this marketing plan.  Learn from my mistakes and all that.  And look at my pretty graphic while you're at it.  And get a copy of the book, then buy the rest of the series, okay?  

The Choice Ahead

Below is the link to an interesting post about politics and the upcoming election.  I'll just leave it here and you can read it or not.  If you're at all confused about what we're facing in the coming election, you probably should read it.  There's kind of a lot at stake.

https://accordingtohoyt.com/2024/08/30/lines-of-departure-2-2-the-choice-isnt-trump-or-harris-by-tom-kratman/

This week's local paper had a scathing letter to the editor ripping Trump, which is 1) weird because this is a mostly conservative county and 2) not really all that unexpected because the editor of our local paper is a leftist.  I expect the editor will get a ton of letters refuting this one, but I don't expect she'll allow any of them to actually go to print.  Or she'll post one that will come across as the ravings of a conservative lunatic rather than one of the many well-reasoned letters she'll receive.  That's her style.

:heavy sigh:  

Now, it's time to go grocery shopping.  It should be a breeze because the VP says the economy is doing great - while she's promising to fix it out the other side of her mouth.  (If it's great, why does it need to be fixed?)  I expect to get next to nothing for double the price.  If I'm lucky, maybe I'll find marked-down, almost-expired ground beef.  It'll be nice to have beef again.  It's been too expensive to buy at regular prices.  Wish me luck.

Randomosity

Yesterday, I had several good ideas for a blog post, but I was too lazy and didn't write them.  This morning?  Nada.  So you're stuck with this. I really need to at least write the ideas down when they're hanging out in my head.  You'd think I'd know better.  Derp.

We had free Starz movie channels this weekend.  Not a whole lot on that I wanted to watch, but we did catch two sleepers - Ordinary Angels and Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris.  Both lovely movies.  Yes, tears will be involved, but they're good tears.

Men do not generally understand that women need to cry.  The idea confuses them and the act makes them very uncomfortable.  Eh.  If I don't have myself a good cry every now and then I get emotionally constipated and cranky.  Gotta open the pressure valve and let it all out.  Better to do that then have an explosion of monumental proportions wherein you do or say things you will regret.  Jus' sayin'.  It's also better than drowning it in food or worse, booze.  Go for it.  Have a good, old-fashioned, ugly cry.  You'll feel better.

Finn is the funniest little kitty.  He likes to drink water off his paw.  He'll actually stand with one paw in the water bowl and then lift it and lick all the water off.  Repeat until his thirst is quenched.  Unfortunately, this leads to wet kitty paw prints all over the floors.  And on my shirt if I don't notice his feet are wet before I pick him up.  He's so pick-up-able that I don't really mind.  Finn's my little love muffin.

Speaking of cats, I took three pieces of paper, folded them in half and I use them to make a little paper tent tunnel that the boyz love to knock down or try to run through. And once the paper is all flat on the floor, they like to lay on it.   It distracts them for a while, which is always a good thing.  

With the WIP on hold to marinate, I need to decide which book to work on next.  I also need to figure out if I should pick up where I left off or start over from the beginning like I did with Duke Noble #2.  I do not plan on starting anything totally new.  I have too many unfinished projects to forge into unknown territory.  For now, though, I'm just marinating.  

Okay, time to pour some more coffee down my gullet and get the day started.  I hope you enjoyed this thoroughly random post this morning.  I'll try to remember the post topics I thought of and write those for this coming week.  Wish me luck. LOL

Thursday This n That

Getting back to writing wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.  Getting back to marketing was okay.  Actually getting back to sales?  Umm... yah.  Not as sparktastic as I'd hoped it would be.  :shrug:

I started this post an hour ago and then got lost in the comments section for a really interesting question about editing and self-publishing.  Just someone asking when it's time to stop self-editing and publish the book (with a request not to suggest paying for an editor, since they have no money to do so).  For the most part, the commenters were spot-on and sympathetic.  A few were snotty, but not many - especially since the group is supposed to be about being supportive and a safe place to discuss this sort of stuff.  (For the record, I did not actually join the group because it asks you to agree to making it a 'safe space' and I don't do 'safe spaces' as a general rule.  One would hope adults wouldn't have to agree to a 'safe space' promise to be civil and courteous to one another.  Those that would, wouldn't necessarily follow the rules - as seem in the snotty comments to that one post.)

Anyway, it was an interesting comments section.  Which is something because most comments sections irritate the crap out of me.

I distracted the cats this morning with pieces of paper.  Sawyer was up to his usually mischief, so I threw a piece of paper on the floor.  He investigated that for a few minutes and then went back to mischief.  So I threw two more on the floor.  Investigate... mischief.  So I took those three pieces of paper, folded them, and made a little tunnel.  Now, Sawyer is laying near them after playing with them and Finn is playing with them.  And Sawyer just got up to attack Finn, so the distraction worked.  Rumble amidst the papers.

The WIP is almost done.  I have to finish the climax, write the denouement, and wrap it all up.  Woohoo.  Scratch that... the first draft of the WIP is almost done.  The book is still nowhere near ready to publish.  And I'm okay with that.

I really should wear my glasses when I write these blog posts.  Thank goodness for the wiggly red lines that let me know when I've truly f'ckd something up.  (Like the word f'ckd. LOL)

Okay, I should probably go do something else constructive this morning.  Have a great day!

Marketing Monday

 Yeah, yeah, I'm no expert on book marketing.  Like so many authors, I pretty much suck at it.  Half the time I feel like a kid jamming my book in people's faces, begging them to buy.  "Please, sir, will you buy one more?"  And people hate it when you sound needy.  Ever date a needy guy? (Or if you're a guy, a needy girl?)  It's a total turn-off.

So, anyway, how does a person who totally sucks at something pull it off?  I can't answer that question.  I can give you a few tips that could bring you some minimal sales, though.  What I'm talking about is using Facebook Groups to generate sales, movement, and interest.  

First off, it's free.  My marketing budget at the moment is $0.  It does take time, though, so if you ain't got the time, then this probably isn't for you.  But, seriously, if you don't have 20-30 minutes a day to devote to marketing, then you'd better find some funds or something.  It doesn't cost you anything to join a Group in Facebook.  Find the group, join the group, post to the group.

Second... okay, there is no second... just more thoughts... 

I have a list of Facebook Groups I belong to (only 25, but I'm working on building it out).  These groups are for any books, for the most part, but I usually post to them when I have a book on sale or free.  Actually, if memory serves, free usually moves more books - naturally.  People like free.  Hell, I like free.  So, what I do is I set a book up for a freebie set of days, then I print out my list of FB Groups and I get to work.  The first morning, as early as possible, I start going down the list and posting my marketing stuff for that book to each post in turn.  When I post, I mark it on my printed list - date and time.  The next day I post to the groups again, just a little later.  They tend to get testy if you post more than once in 24 hours.

Of course, you need to come up with some snazzy marketing verbiage.  Do your best.  I come up with something, post it.  The next day, I change it up a little.  I do this for every day my book is on sale or free.  Typically, five days in a row.  (If you're going to generate residuals, you need to go at least 5 days or the 'Zon doesn't pick up on the fact that your book is moving and needs to be in the KU 'woohoo look at this book' lists and junk.)  It also helps if you have a marketing image of some sort.  Sure, if you post a link, it'll show your cover.  Sometimes that's not enough.  Get something pretty or make something pretty.  It doesn't even have to be that hard to do... but that's a topic for another day.

Okay, so full disclosure, in case you were getting ready to rake in the sales.  I might move 75-100 free books over the full 5 days.  I occasionally sell a couple books, too, and get a couple people reading it in KU.  I'm not making a ton of cash here, folks.  But for a book that hasn't moved at all in a couple years, like mine, doing this can at least make your books visible again.  And if you have been selling books all along, you can find new readers.  Maybe readers who will go through your whole backlist.  

Anyway, like I said, it doesn't cost anything but time.  And these days, you can't beat that price.  

Any questions?  This isn't comprehensive, I know.  It's just a quickie splash of advice.  If you have a question, leave it in comments and I'll get to you as soon as I can.  I will be jammed up with other stuff this morning, so if your comment/answer doesn't appear, check back later.

Have a great day!  And good luck!

So-Called Experts

 Yesterday a FB friend of mine posted about a so-called 'expert' who was going to be on a panel at some writing conference.  My friend decided to look into this person's background to see what made them an expert on writing.  They had one book for sale and its ranking was over 3 million.  My friend posited that the aforementioned expert had to have not sold much in the past few months.  Umm...

I took two years off all things writerly and as of last week - before the sale - Dying Embers was at like 2.5 million, so that begs the question of how poorly this person's book ever sold to be lower than a book I haven't marketed in two years?  If sales are that poorly, how does one rise to the level of expert in writing?

I don't pretend to be an expert in anything writerly, but it seems to me that the goal of writing is to get people to read your work.  If people aren't reading your work, you've missed the goal somewhere along the way.  Of course, this person's writing may be amazing, but they suck at advertising and marketing.  Then again, if that was the case, how did they get on the list to be picked for a panel on writing?  Jus' sayin'.

The above dovetails into something I've talked about before - taking care to be mindful of the persons from whom you're taking your writing advice.  Gah, especially when you're paying for the privilege as with a writing conference.  

There's an upcoming writing conference in my area.  Ozarks Writing something or other.  I hear about it every year.  Several of those years, I've checked to see who's on the panels to see if they're anyone I might even think about going to see or hear.  Nine times out of ten I've never even heard of these people.  I can't afford to spend money going to one of these things to meet people I'm not even sure could add any value to my life.  

Hell, there's a writing group I've been seeing in my local paper.  I could join.  I just can't see the value.  Like the cost-benefit analysis is lopsided.  I'd spend money (gas, mostly) and time, and I wouldn't recoup those investments.  There's also the possibility that I would give my pearls of wisdom and get none back.  (Or worse, give them pearls and have them be swine about it.)

I think I got off track there somewhere.  Anyway... Yeah, experts.  Watch who you're taking advice from and take everything with a grain of salt.  Also, watch who you're throwing time and money at.  The usual.  

Too Hot to Cook

 I don't know about all y'all, but it is too hot here in SWMO (southwest Missouri for the uninitiated).  So, to riff off my friend Silver's post this morning, I'm going to talk about not-cooking - or cooking with as little extra heat in the house as possible.

Last night, I used my Foreman grill to make pork chops.  That's one way to have a meal and not heat up the house too much.  Of course, they were boneless.  I'm not sure how well I'd be able to cook bone-in porkies on that thing.  Boneless took about 5 minutes.  Bone-in would probably take way longer.  And I cut my own boneless pork chops, but that's a story for another day.  With the pork chops, I microwaved leftover mashed potatoes.  Low heat all around.

I've also found that using the crockpot cuts the added heat.  Last week, I bought a small roasting chicken.  I took that bugger and shoved it in the crockpot with seasoning and butter, and let it cook for 4 hours.  Super yummy, without loads of heat leaking into my atmosphere.  Plus, afterward, I had loads of cold chicken to use on salads, sandwiches, etc.

Speaking of sandwiches, if you've never made a grilled cheese on a Foreman grill, you're missing out.  Super easy stuff there.  I like to cut roast chicken and put it on my grilled cheese.  Mmmm.

Tonight, I think I'm going to make the fixings for Big Salad night.  (Not much to make really.)  I'll lay out a spread of cut up ham, shredded cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, croutons... whatever we want on our salads, it'll be laid out on the counter for us.  I'd put out chicken, but I ate the last of that yesterday for lunch.

If you know me, you know I like to bake.  This is a problematic like in the summer time.  To address my baking urges without baking myself and Hubs, I try to keep my baking to the mornings.  Unfortunately, that means I have to muster the gumption before the gumption is even awake, but I do what I have to do.

I saw something on FB the other day where a woman made cookies using the INSIDE of her car on a particularly hot and sunny day.  I'm not quite going to that extreme.  There are ways around getting overheated and still having something yummy to eat, though.  

And now I'm hungry.  Time to go forage for something cold to eat.  ;o)

What about you?  Any tips or tricks for eating without baking?

Digging Things Up

 I've been working on my family trees on and off for probably about 15 years.  I mostly use Ancestry.com for the research and the main tree.  Ancestry got me hooked with one of their free month things.  Unfortunately, you can only use that once, but hey, they're a business and they deserve to get paid.  

I also use My Heritage.  My Heritage has a good downloadable program for my desktop, so I can use that when I can't be online.  And they also have an online search thing that I use on occasion.  

From time to time, I use my search engine.  Type in some information and you can sometimes find out things that Ancestry doesn't have or have yet.  For instance, Mom know that her cousin Shar had passed away earlier this year, but Ancestry didn't have that information yet, so I googled it.  (Duckduck'd it?)  Found her obituary and filled in the appropriate info.  

Obits are great stores of information.  You can find out the names of children, spouses, etc. and fill out your tree that way.  This is especially helpful because places like Ancestry won't show you the names of people who are still alive.  So, from reading Cousin Shar's obit, I could fill in her kids and grandkids names.  (Mom only remembered one son's name,)

Speaking of Mom... she has been super helpful doing all of this.  Thankfully, she also remembers things about Dad's family.  I wish Ancestry had been around back when he was alive.  (Actually, it may have been but I didn't know about it then.)  Dad would've loved this.  Lucky for me, I still have Mom and I utilize her as often as she is willing to put up with me.  I think she likes it, too.  This morning, I used Ancestry to look up some gals she went to school with and give her information on what ever happened to them.  Plus, I think it helps keep her memory sharp.  She's going on 84, so that's an important thing these days.  

I'd like to think this will be important to the younger generations at some point down the road.  It's here if they ever need it.  I did see that my cousin's oldest daughter now has her own tree because I stumbled across it yesterday.  I've never actually met the kid - 30 and she's still a kid... derp - but it'll be nice to reach out to her and see if I can give her info she might not otherwise have.  Unfortunately, she lost her grandmother last year, so she doesn't have access to the stories like I do.  Maybe I'll tell her to call Mom and talk about the old days with her.  

Anyway, if you can afford it, Ancestry is cool.  It's like storing the memories of generations past.  I find it all very interesting.  But I'm a nerd.  

And no, I don't ever plan to submit my DNA.  I know the basics of my genetic makeup just from all the research I've done.  If it ain't in there, I don't really need it.  

Ju-Lo-Wri-Mo Day 12
Starting Word Count: 11797
Ending Word Count: 12791
New Words: 994

Suckage

Ju-Lo-Wri-Mo... Day Three.  Or as I like to call it 'The Day of the Suckage'.  I wrote 298 words worth of total crap last night... then I deleted 208 of them and started over.  I had a net gain of 452.  And even those aren't my best.  

But that's all okay.  It's all about giving myself permission to suck.  As I've said before - still true even though it's been a while since I've said it - you can fix suck.  What you can't fix is a blank page.  You gotta put the words down before you can fix anything.  

I guess last night I just wasn't feeling it.  Like I said, that's okay.  I started off down a wrong trail and it felt wrong, so I deleted it.  I set off down another trail.  Not sure if this one is right either, but it's less wrong than the other one.  I should be able to find my way tomorrow.  We'll see.  If this one is wrong, too, I'll fix that.  

Let the suckage flow.  The good stuff will come out eventually.

Oh, and Happy Independence Day.  This day will be spent like any other, but it is a holiday.  I'd be more inclined to celebrate if I were happier about where this country is right now.  Maybe I'll just celebrate it as my own independence and leave it at that.  

You Do You

I really should get into the habit of writing posts at night instead of in the morning.  I'm better at writing at night.  My brain is more set for writing.  And my hands don't hurt.  (Plus, the cats aren't as interested in attracting my attention.)

I've said it before and I'll say it again.  Everyone has their own way of writing. We're different people... Individuals.  And I like it that way.  Each of us our own little island, building bridges (and burning them) or using little boats to connect with other islands, but still wholly on our own. So it's no wonder that there are a billions of ways to get things done.

I write at night.  Some people write in the morning.  Others write throughout the day.  

I start at the beginning of a story and write straight through until I reach the end.  Other people write bits here and there, then sew the bits together like a glorious quilt.  I heard once that JK Rowling wrote the end of Deathly Hallows before she finished Philosopher's Stone (UK version of Sorcerer's Stone), so she knew exactly where she was headed with the whole series.

I never know where I'm headed.  Sometimes I think back over what I just wrote and wonder where the hell I'm going next.  (Sometimes I think back over it and wonder what the hell I just wrote.)  I have this thing where, if I plan out too much of the story ahead of time, I can't write it.  I need to not know where it's going.  It's almost like I'm telling the story to myself and if I already know where it's headed, I get bored with it.  

Some people would be horrified at my methods.  I'm sometimes horrified at theirs  :shrug:  I do me.  You do you.  As long as we all get where we're going, what does it matter how we get there?

Speaking of getting there, here are my stats for Day 2:

Starting Word Count - 5438
Ending Word Count - 6402
New Words = 964
Time: 45 minutes