Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Looking Back...

I saw a funny meme on FB recently that said something to the effect of 'I saw an old gal the other day and then realized we graduated together'.  Which got me to thinking about the people I went to school with.  Which lead me to search FB for my alma mater.  I found a group devoted to alumni of the school.  It has like 1100+ members, so it covers way more years than mine.  (We graduated like 140 people in 1988.)

So, I started to scroll through the list of members.  Some names I knew.  Some names merely sounded familiar.  (All of my siblings graduated from the same school, so some of those familiar names were their classmates and not mine.)

I found one of my circle of friends in there.  The five of us were tight - Margaret, Maria, Janine, Ann, and I.  Back then.  Then we all graduated and went our separate ways, and didn't keep in touch.  I saw her at our 10th class reunion, and while it was fun to hang out and catch up and reminisce, we had nothing in common anymore.  We probably have less in common now.  I mean, #10 was 18 years ago.

She looks the same.  I mean, older obviously, but pretty much the same Maria I knew in high school.

I found another of my once-upon-a-time friends on there.  I'd known this gal from the age of like 3 because her mother and my mother were friends.  We were super tight from like 3 until around 8.  Then things happened and we drifted.  Her photo is two women close together.  I don't recognize either of them.  We probably have about as much in common as with the other lost friend.


I'm still looking for my best friend, Mags.  I haven't seen her since the summer before I went away to college.  The letters just stopped.  The phone calls just stopped.  I found out later that she'd stopped by home and spoken with my mother.  She was very concerned about the man I was seeing at the time.  Which, I guess, is why she stopped talking to me because she didn't want her dislike of him* to come between us... but it did anyway.

I don't know what I'd do if I found her.  Would I reach out?  Do we have anything left between us but the memories of how much we loved each other?  Right now, I don't know what would happen.  I'd still like to find her, though, if only to see if she has had a good life.  I want her to have had a good life.  She was my sister from another mister.  We're both totally different people than we were then.  Well, I am.  I assume she's changed, too. 

You really can never go back.  Sure, it's interesting to look back, but trying to go back?  Ain't gonna be the way you hope it'll be.  Slim chance it might be better.  Larger chance it will be so much worse.

What about you?  Are you still friends with people from high school?  College?  If there was one person you could find, who would that be?  

*She was right, btw.  He was an ass. I dumped him at the beginning of my Sophomore year at college. I would've traded him for her in a heartbeat.


  1. I'm "casual" friends with those from high school and college. That's on me. I'm the one who drifted away. I tend to isolate myself and focus inward rather than outward. I was never a social butterfly to begin with and now I'm...well, not quite the crazy lady in the shuttered house with all the cats. I do feed the ferals. But I have dogs. And a cat. And a husband. A daughter and son-in-law and grandson. They all make sure I see daylight on a regular basis. Without them? Yeah...don't want to fall down that rabbit hole.

    1. Yeah, I guess I drifted away, too. Three cheers for the isolation and the inward focus! Thank goodness for people who encourage us to see daylight.

  2. I'm not sentimental about my school chums. One girl I knew from HS tried to connect with me on FB. At first I ignored the request. I checked out her page and her posts consisted of bizarre and uninformed political tirades. I knew we had nothing in common.

    Then she got pushy and started messaging me because I still hadn't friended her. I explained gently that I used FB mainly for business connections. Then she got really pushy and started messaging my husband, crying that I was being mean to her. That's when I blocked her.

    We're not 14 anymore, and that kind of drama instantly puts you in the fruit loops bin.

    1. Ugh, that sounds horrible. And bizarre. Sorry you had to go through that. And good for you, for blocking her. Who needs that kind of drama?

  3. I left school in June 1977 and then left home the following January when I joined the RAF. I went home regularly but the focus of my life was completely different to my friends and although I tried to keep in touch, after a couple of years we had nothing in common and getting together was painful. No, you can't go back - you're just not the same person you were and you're never going to be again.

    Actually that "you can't go back" argument was the one I used most to explain to my current friends why Brexit was a bad idea and I was voting to stay in the EU. Obviously a lot of people look at pre-1973 with rose coloured glasses because they voted us out anyway! Huh!

    1. You were in the RAF? Too cool. I expect that would put you in a totally different world than most of your classmates. My brothers were both in the USAF, and I know one of them is still in touch with his friends from school, but both of those guys also went into the military, so they still have things in common.