Friday, October 21, 2011

Carrots? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Carrots

Because we have the stick! 

See it there, looking so friendly and innocuous?  In this shot, it's camouflaging itself as a decorative piece, but don't let it fool you.  It's a stick.  A big one.  And it's hard.

Perfect for poking a recalcitrant writer.  Even better for whomping a slacking student. 

It slices, it dices, it makes julienne fries... Not really.  It just smushes everything into a pulp.  I guess it would make great mashed potatoes, but ew.

Why do we mention the stick today?  Well, because it has come to our attention that certain people out there in the world require a bit of motivation.  And when it comes to motivation, you really only have two options - the carrot and the stick. 

All I have around the house is a bag of old baby carrots.  If that motivates you, go for it.  They're in the wilter next to the onions and a half bag of salad.  Barring anyone's penchant for rubbery tiny root vegetables as a positive reinforcement, we're opting for the stick today.

Get out there and work.  Or the stick might be coming to visit you.  Bwa haha

(Why yes, I was feeling a mite silly this morning.  How'd you know?)

BTW, in case anyone wants to know, said stick was hand crafted from a tree in the yard of my childhood home.  (I think it was an ash, but don't hold me to that.)  My gargantuan brother wanted a walking stick, so he cut the tree down and made one.  When he left home, I took possession of said stick and have carted it all over the damn country.  It's my stick now.  Beware the stick.  It knows when you're not working and it's waiting to thump you. 


  1. LOL! We cower before the stick!

    I'll make an extra effort to get some writing done today. Don't send the stick after me! ;-)

  2. First of all, I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who has a 'wilter' in her fridge!

    Second - I am afraid of the stick. I'm thinking I should procrastinate today by going into the woods to look for my very own stick, which I would place in the corner of my office in good viewing from my desk. Perhaps if the stick (or one like it) were closer and more tangibly ominous (yeah, I said that), it would be even more threatening.

    Glad to see you're threatening, er, sharing the stick with everyone, not just me :)

  3. It's actually a lovely stick. Enjoy it, although I hope you don't need to womp to many people with it. LOL ;-)

  4. That looks like a Wizard's staff. Awesome.

  5. I'm a big fan of the old saying, speak softly and carry a big stick. That one would definitely suffice.