I'm at a frustrating point in my writing. I've started EQ a couple times now, and it's just not coming together. Nano is giving me fits. I want to beat my head on my desk for a few days until what's in there either falls into place or I fall unconscious.
Last night I sat on the couch with my trusty notepad and red pen, and I tried to write my way out of this thing with EQ. I know what I want to say, but I'm not sure how to get there. I'm almost convinced to just go back to the original 3500 words and work from there - even though I know that's not right either. Then at least I'd be getting something accomplished.
With Nano, I think I just need to completely rewrite the beginning. I did it once already, and I thought I had it, but after I plugged in the changes, it was... well... yuck.
And then, when I was wallowing in my own frustration - trying to make myself work when watching TV was so much easier - I wondered why the hell I'm busting my ass on something I'm not seeing any rewards for. Seriously. Then laziness and frustration ganged up and whispered in my ear that I can always rest now and kill myself after I get an agent. It almost worked, too. Even now I can feel the couch cushions calling my name.
I think I just need to wade back into either EQ or Fertile Ground, and get the damn things written. I need to keep pushing Blink until something breaks. I need to finish Nano, and while I'm at it, I should probably get off my ever-widening ass and finish editing AWJ (from two years ago), or finish writing C&D. I can make this writing thing pay off. I will make it pay off, dammit.