Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bad Week

Despite my hopes to remain more positive on the blog, I haven't been the most positive person this week. Monday's rant and Tuesday's venting were part and parcel of what I'm just going to admit is a bad week for me.

First off, my friend died. Then I noticed that his memorial service was smack on the anniversary of my Dad's death. Yeah, take a sucky thing and make it worse.

These past couple years May 6th hasn't been as hard as it was initially. I figured I was finally getting to a point where the pain wasn't so sharp, and I could finally get through a 5/6 without falling apart. Until yesterday.

At the memorial service, I was pretty good until they recited the 23rd psalm. It was always Dad's favorite. I made it through "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want" before the tears started. And there I am in the front row of my friend's memorial, trying not to sob like a child. The tears weren't for my friend, although he deserves them, so I choked them down. Then I was doing pretty good until they presented the flag to his widow, and I saw the tears streaming down her face. All I could picture was the flag presentation for my father.

Anyway, yesterday was pretty much a wash. After the memorial service and the luncheon, I was an emotional dishrag. I spent the rest of the day on the couch watching crap TV, until late last night when I finally dragged myself to this chair. I wrote 350 words. They weren't good words, but they were words - and they added a new plot path I wasn't expecting. Here's hoping they were enough of a setup that I can sit down tonight and crank some scenes out.

Oh, and I decided to go back to my original beginning on EQ. I'll fix it later. So despite this being a bad week for me, I'm forging ahead. Sometimes that's all you can do - unless you prefer to wallow on the couch watching crap TV. (Which has its purposes, but shouldn't become a lifestyle. Ya know?)

Like the immortal Lombardi says: The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.

Ever had a time when you had every reason to wallow on the couch, but you worked anyway?


  1. I'm so sorry about your friend. *hugs*

  2. I'm sorry you're week is so lousy. There's always next week right?

  3. If you feel lousy and want to wallow, but you're working instead then you're a better woman than I. I'm so sorry it's been such a bad week for you. Hugs.

  4. ((()))S sometimes grief comes in waves.