Tuesday, November 13, 2012

My Baker's Dozen Submission

A friend of mine told me in a private email that I was allowed 24 hours to wallow over my not making it into the Baker's Dozen, so I did.  Now that the proscribed hours are up, it's back to life.  And with a return to reality comes showing what I sent that didn't quite make the cut.

Here's how it would've looked if it made it onto the site:

Title: Djinnocide
Genre: Urban Fantasy

Jo Mayweather vowed years ago to free her fellow genies from those three little wishes that enslave them, but after a murderous being starts tormenting and killing her brethren, she learns there are worse things for an unlucky djinn to face—like an ungrantable wish.

No one ever asked me if I wanted to be a genie. I never even thought such a thing was possible. I was a modern woman living in the Roaring Twenties. Against my mother’s wishes, I wore my hair and my skirts short. I drank at speakeasies. I danced with gangsters. Hell, I even smoked for petesakes. After surviving for almost two whole decades, I had certainly aged too far to believe in fairy stories anymore.

My father, Reggie, he was the dreamer in the family. He was the one always looking for the next big thing and if he could steal it? Well, even better. Me, I spent years looking for the next big party. In fact, I’d been prepping for my own birthday extravaganza when the package arrived. The shipping label said ‘Constantinople’, but whether my thief of a dad could still be found there was anyone’s guess. Odds were he’d moved to the next port of call and his next score. At least he’d bothered to think enough of me to send a gift. After all, it’s not every day a gal turns eighteen.

“Marriageable age,” my mother mumbled at me that morning in lieu of a more sentimental greeting. She’d meant ‘well past the age of finding a husband’ if her previous birthday greetings were any indication. She wanted me married and out of the house before I could graduate high school.

The first paragraph is the logline and the next three represent the first 250 or so words of the book (less because I didn't want to stop mid-paragraph).  

If you're going to comment on the quality of the above, please remember 'If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all'.  I'm willing to put my work out there on MSFV for public shredding, but I don't need to get kicked in my own house.  Besides, mean comments don't make it past my internal nastiness filter to post to the blog.  So there.  =op


  1. After reading this little bit, I know I would like to know about these folks. Besides, I love the backdrop of the 20's and families with issues.

    Sorry it didnt get in. Till next time chick.

  2. I do love this new beginning, B.E. - I wish there had been more than 250 words because the whole scene is awesome.

    Keep going, keep writing, keep submitting. It'll happen for you :)

  3. I love her voice. I remember this beginning when I read the book--it was good then, but it's even better now!

    Sorry you didn't get in, hun. *hugs*