I read a news story this morning about a thirteen year old girl in California who killed herself because, in her words, 'they called me ugly'. WTF? Seriously, WTF?
:climbs the soapbox:
When did we get to the point where we allowed the words of others to have such an effect on our lives? I mean, sure, when I was younger, I got picked on. I got called every name but white, and while it certainly didn't make me happy, it didn't drive me to thoughts of suicide. (Other things might've but that's a story for another time.)
Then I grew up. And I came to the understanding that the words out of other people's mouths only have as much value as you allow them to have. Or, as my mom put it, 'consider the source'. If someone you don't know or don't like, calls you a name, then the name is meaningless. If someone you do know and like calls you a name, think about whether the name fits and if it doesn't, then the value of that person ought to decrease in your eyes - not the value of yourself. If it does fit, and you don't like it, work on changing that about yourself.
I went 'round and 'round with the Kid over this point. Because, you see, sometimes it has nothing to do with what a parent might say when the world is pushing everyone to take every word of every other person into account. She would come home crying because some little dipshit said something nasty to her, and I'd try to explain to her that they were wrong and they were dipshits and she really needed to ignore them. But I couldn't fight the culture that told her the opposite all day every day. So I yanked her out of that culture and homeschooled her. It didn't solve the problem - which was ultimately her perception of the value of valueless people - but it did give her a break so she could thrive without their interference.
The thirteen year old girl wasn't the first such news story and it won't be the last. A week or two ago, it was a ten year old. Before that? Hundreds around the nation. And what goes unreported are the thousands who live with that crap every day, thinking about how worthless and ugly and stupid and whatever they are because some dipshits told them so. Dipshits. They're letting their lives be ruined by what amounts to nothing more than dipshits.
I won't get into the kids who, because of the above, kill others. They are dipshits, too. It's like a fucking disease - dipshitenza. Where you spend so much time thinking about what the dipshits have done to you that you become one, too. Or something.
All I know is it pisses me off. It's been pissing me off for years. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it, except take to this blog every once in a while and rant. I can't change the culture.
But it does need to change. Maybe if we all decide we really don't give a rat's furry white ass what other people think, we can make it change little by little. Teach your children not to put so damn much stock in what other people have to say and think. Teach them to consider the source.
And when the culture overrides your wisdom, and your children are beaten bloody by the words of others, hold them tight and hope they can weather the storm long enough to grow out of it.
:climbs down off the soapbox:
'Nuff said. Until next time when stuff has to be said again.
And teach your children not to bully! Those kids get it from somewhere. I blame Dr. Benjamin Spock and his twisted views on raising children. Make friends with your child. Treat them as equals. I call BS! But a generation fell for his claptrap and raised a generation of entitled snowflakes who never heard the word "No!" And that generation abdicated their own parenting and now we have special snowflakes that follow the herd, believe the pablum they're fed by a bunch of educators raised the same way. It really chaps my @$$.
ReplyDeleteYour advice says it all. All we can do is teach our children to be strong, to believe in themselves, and hope they are secure in the knowledge that we love them.