I proof the headlines on CNN, ESPN... I proofread the Weather Channel for petesakes. We were watching a show the other day - some kind of real life mystery - and the title of the episode was "Till Death Do Us Part". 'TIL! Unless it was about a farmer offing his wife with farm equipment the word is short for UNTIL. And they showed the title at every commercial break. I was about tearing my hair out over it.
When I speak, I start sentences and reword them as I go. It's like a bizarre kind of stutter, but instead of repeating a syllable or sound, I say the same thing three different ways. "It's a beautiful... It's a lovely... It's a gorgeous day outside."
My husband is a peach, but it's got to be driving him nuts. My god, it's driving me nuts and I barely have to listen to myself. He should have me committed and I wouldn't blame him - especially since I've started correcting him, too. And he's an intelligent man. I've gone mad. They'll be fitting me for a straight jacket any day now. (Not Daughter, btw. She's used to me correcting her... you know because of the teacher/student thing.)
If I somehow disappear, send help. And make sure whoever you send has a large butterfly net and a big bag of marshmallows. (Because, as everyone knows, the insane love marshmallows. They're so squishy. Squishy squishy squishy.)
Cheap product promotion for which I get SQUAT: For t-shirts that say it all (my favorite was the one that says "Writer: Not Crazy, Just in Rewrites" but unfortunately won't allow me to save a picture of so you can buy): IncognitaShop at Zazzle.com. They have cute shirts for writers. Too bad they're in the UK. Bleh.
*All images deleted to avoid any chance of copyright infringement*