I just notice I haven't posted here in almost a week. Bleh. I've really been falling down on the job. Sorry.
I blame this general malaise that seems to have fallen over me with regards to anything writerly. I could blame THAT on the fact that my writing doesn't seem to be going anywhere, which I could then blame on the fact that I feel like everything I write is crap right now, but that would only lead back to the general malaise.
I could blame this on the limbo I seem to be in over a Harper Voyager - who promised to have answers to us by a certain date and then pushed the date back and then seemed to drop off the face of the earth with regards to giving any kind of updates about anything. (Their blog is quieter than mine... maybe the malaise has them, too.)
I could blame this on the query process that seems to have slipped into that old rejection rut. I know the malaise has brought the queries I've sent out to a mere trickle. And yeah, I know that I'll never get a 'yes' if I don't keep sending submissions out. But the malaise has me going 'meh'.
It could be that my annual January-March malaise was rescheduled due to the fact that I was so busy with life stuff during that time. "I'm sorry, but we overbooked and we need to push your regularly scheduled malaise back a few months." Feh.
Whatever is causing this, I'm in the grips of it. I know I need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. I know I need to shake this off. Once I shake it off, I'll see everything clearer - including the actual quality of my writing (which I suspect doesn't suck nearly as bad as I'm thinking right now). But shaking it off is easier said than done.
So, for now, I'm floating in a sea of meh.
How about you? Do you have a time when the malaise strikes you? How do you get past it?
I've found walking can help with the general malaise. Listening to my music, enjoying the fresh air, it kind of wakes me up and rejuvinates me (besides making my feet hurt, but that's another issue!).
ReplyDeleteMaybe you just need to talk to someone who loves your work. They're usually a good way to get your motivation back, too. And who doesn't like being told their work is awesome?
I get into these kinds of doldrums too. I think no one cares what I have to say. What's the use? I'll never make it.
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing: you are not a failure. If you write a blog you are a published writer, right? I mean it's out there and people do see it. I saw it. So keep at it. If it's really your dream, it will come.
I can blame mine on lack of sleep. I've been staying up all night reading books others have written. And thinking I'm a fraud because no one would stay up all night to read my words.
ReplyDeleteBut that's the Doubt Monster. I blame it for spawning Malaise. See? It always works better if we can blame it one someone/thing else. Starting tomorrow, I can blame it on the funeral I have to attend, the roofers, the heat, the Sun in Virgo, the Moon in Capricorn, and the fact that the Age of Aquarius was a bust.
Now, get off your butt. Grab your notebook. Go someplace different. And start writing. Don't write on any of your current projects. Do something fresh, new, and SHORT! Start it, push through the middle, finish it. And then burn the pages. Only make sure you aren't under a burn ban before you lit those suckers up. Because, fire marshal visit not a good thing. But you could blame it on dragons. Because...dragons...hrmmmm...*wanders off*
I think Silver's Doubt Monster may be right on the money. I know mine has been rearing it's ugly head lately.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
I've been feeling lately like I'm falling back into the pit of depression. I've been struggling forward with everything I have in me, but I seem to be losing ground.
ReplyDeleteWalking, exercise in general, is supposed to help. You're in such a gorgeous area; grab the camera and stroll the neighborhood. If nothing else, you'll find something to blog about. ;-)
I'm sorry you're feeling so meh. I get into moods like that too. The whole month of May was stressful and annoying, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI wish I could help you with the writerly stuff. I hate to see you so down about it. Maybe you should look into self-publishing? You have so many great stories--you should share them with the world =)
I don't let it overwhelm me. I know it's cyclical and I'll be on top of the world again. I just have to ride it out.
ReplyDeleteA change of scenery always helps me. Doing anything other than writing or reading helps too.