Satan Works at Keebler

I discovered an insidious plot today at the grocery store.  Satan works at Keebler.  He has to be the frigging president of the company.  (Or at least middle management.)  Otherwise, I wouldn't have bought a package of these today...

 

Those bastard elves have to be working for the King of All Darkness.  And to prove it, just try to find those cookies at Keebler.com.  They aren't there.  Satan snuck them into my store (and at Amazon - where you can buy them in bulk for petesakes).  They are Evil Evil satanic snacks.

And so damn good. 

Satan just knew I lost another pound.  He wants me fat and sluggish.  Bastard.  I hope he burns in... Ummm... Never mind.