Facing Facts

This morning, I'm facing facts...

I will never be rich and famous.

I will never be a best-selling author.

I will never be comfortably well-off

I will never make enough money to support myself.

I will never even make enough to pay for the expenses of being a self-published author.

When I started out on this publishing journey, I didn't think I would ever be rich or famous, or even a best-selling author.  I would've liked to make enough to be comfortably well off.  I had hoped to make enough money to support myself.  I had a goal to just make enough for the writing to pay for itself.  But I'm doubting even that these days.  

Then I was reduced to just getting happy when someone bought a book.  Today, not even that gives me a thrill.  If I sell two books in one day, maybe I get excited.  Depends on the day.

I used to write for the sake of writing.  Just sit down and let the ideas flow.  That was a long time ago.  I finished a book and then got the idea that it should be published.  Unfortunately, I was the only one who thought that.  (Other than Hubs.  He's always been supportive.)  Agents and publishers didn't think that.  So I made the decision to published my books my own damn self.  I spent a lot of money on covers and editing and marketing.  I sold some books, but still not enough to catch up to any of my hopes and goals.

It's been a struggle ever since.  Just me jumping hurdle after hurdle in a race I can't win because there's never a finish line.  :shrug:

I'll keep writing.  I'm not in that place yet.  Okay, so I am in a place where I haven't been writing, but I've been here before, so I don't expect it to last forever.  I'm just trying to be realistic with myself.  I write, I publish, I market... and sales drip in.  Occasionally, one of the people who bought a book leave a review to let me know they liked it.  (Or hated it as the case may be.)  Once a month, I get money deposited into my bank account.  Sometimes it's enough to buy a cup of coffee.  Sometimes it's almost enough to buy a steak.  (What with the price of beef these days, I can't quite get enough for the whole steak.)

It is what it is, I guess.  

Thursday This n That

The other morning, just before sunrise, the crows were kicking up an unholy riot out there in the woods.  I tried to see what they were freaking out about and they were pretty focused on one tree.  Just then, I saw something large fly out of the tree, surrounded by crows.  It landed on a leafless branch. Silhouetted by the sunrise, it's species was clear. It was a great horned owl.  Awesome.  It didn't stay long because the crows were divebombing it, but there it was.  Yay.

That's one awesome thing about Fall - leafless trees.  We can see all sorts of stuff in the fall and winter that we can't see all summer.  We're seeing stars again, and birds of all kinds, and planes.  Woot.

Another awesome thing about Fall is the cooler temps.  Well, cooler than Summer anyway.  Yesterday, it got up to 75F.  Blerg.  Pardon me while I whine... I want to go in the woods and play!

I was playing rough with Sawyer and now my hand is scratched up.  He likes to lay between my legs and attack my hand.  I usually cover it with a shirt or something, so it's not too bloody a game, but he got past the cloth.  :shrug:  Oh, the things I do to please my babies.  For some reason, after we play rough for a little while, he settles down and goes for a nap, instead of constantly circling like a shark.  The boy needs active play.  Sure, he's got Finn, but Finn's a lover more than a fighter.

French toast sounds good today.  I probably won't make it, but it sounds good.

The sapsuckers have returned to my woods.  Yay!

I don't think there's enough coffee on the planet to keep my awake today.  Not sure why.  I mean, we stayed up like 15 minutes past our bedtime, and I think I got to sleep okay, but I am pooped.  Derp.

In the spare room, there's a container of green tomatoes.  They're ripening one by one, which is okay.  There's just enough of each tomato to make slices for hamburgers.  Next year, I'm planting potatoes and carrots, too.  Fingers crossed it all works.

Okay, that's enough out of me.  Have a great day wherever you are, and feel free to leave a comment to tell me about your thisses and thats.

Chocolate Banana Bread

 I know I've been hinting at making chocolate bread, and that's still a possibility, but this isn't that.  That's a yeasted bread, this is a quick bread.  Anyway, I had some bananas going too ripe, and I didn't want to do the same old banana cake or muffins or bread that I usually do.  I hunted around for a recipe for chocolate banana bread and Voila!  This isn't exactly that recipe - I tweak everything.  It's super yummy.  

Chocolate Banana Bread

2 large ripe bananas
2 eggs 
1/3 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup white sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup baker's cocoa
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Preheat oven to 350F. Grease a 9x5" loaf pan.  In a large bowl, mash the bananas. (Not too mashed.  Banana chunks are yummy.) Beat the eggs and add to the bananas along with oil and sugar.  Stir until well combined. In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt until well combined and lump-free.  Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients all at once and fold until just combined.  Fold in the chocolate chips. Pour the batter evenly into the prepared pan.  Bake for 40-50 minutes or until you can insert a toothpick and it comes out clean.  Cool for about 10 minutes in the pan, then turn out onto your preferred surface for cooling.  I took a couple slices out of mine while it was still warm and the chips were gooey and sliced the rest when it was completely cool.  Store in a relatively cool area or the fridge.

Enjoy!

Marketing Monday - Accidental Death

It's actually Marketing Monday today, as opposed to last week's No Marketing Monday.  Today, I'm offering Accidental Death.

Starting today, ACCIDENTAL DEATH is free through Friday. (Always free with Kindle Unlimited.) Pick up your copy of this crime noir novel today! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00XM6VJ9U

Sunday Update - 2025 Week 45

Well, here we are again at another week.  I looked up what the week # was this time, so yeah, it's right.  7 weeks left of the year.  Let's see if we can make it a good 7 weeks, eh?

No writing this week.  No editing either.  And almost no marketing, except I got a wild hair yesterday and set a bunch of stuff up to be free.  If you missed yesterday's post, Blink of an I is free right now.  Starting tomorrow, Accidental Death will be free for 5 days and then UNEQUAL will be free for the weekend.  For the record, I moved 2 copies of BOAI yesterday.  Weekends really do suck for moving books.  :shrug:  Then again, it could be the book.  People aren't as excited for dystopian novels as they could be.  Oh, well.  

I'm still reading The Martian by Andy Weir.  It's pretty good.  I'm just not not reading as often as I should these days.

In baking news, I made oatmeal raisin bread.  The recipe was posted this past Wednesday.  I meant to make chocolate bread yesterday, but then I got busy cleaning and by the time I was done, I was too arm-tired to make bread.  I did do a batch of Salsa Chicken, though.  Yum.  I might make banana bread today.  We'll see.

On the activity front, I did some work in the woods on Sunday, but then it got too hot to go into the woods.  I tried walking one day, but after about an eighth of a mile, I got a hitch in my giddy-up (i.e. my hip was sticking), so I turned around and came home.  I also did some tree repotting, I swept the leaves off the deck, and I cleaned both bathroom sinks.  Weight: Unchanged at 174.2

As for the gardening, I picked most of my green tomatoes earlier in the week because it was supposed to get cold.  And it did get cold, but when I went out on the deck yesterday, the tomatoes I left are getting bigger and the plants still have flowers.  Derp.  Also, I had moved a couple of the largest green pepper plants into the garage and they each have one tiny ball which may or may not grow into an actual edible pepper.  Mostly what I worked on, though, was repotting some of the trees to overwinter in the garage.  (All the trees are inside now.)  I got a great deal on some tall pots at the thrift store ($2 each), so I put a dogwood in one and a redbud in the other.  Fingers crossed they thrive and I see growth come spring.  Right now, I have 3 dogwoods, 5 redbuds, 4 cedars, 2 hickories, 1 oak, and 2 unknown that may or may not be shrubs.  It's possible one of them is a black cherry because its leaves are turning color and the color is a pale peachy-pink like the cherries do.  We'll see.  The other one might be a buckthorn.  I can't wait for Spring.

Since it's not Spring and it's getting colder instead of warmer, fun in the woods is right around the corner.  Which is good because we've got a lot of work to do on the new property, as well as plenty to do on the old property.  Loads of deadfall to clean up.  We're looking at chainsaws and woodstoves again.  

The deer are in rut.  Which means we're seeing bucks in the yard again.  We have 4 identifiably different ones.  They're chasing the girls all over the place, trying to get some bow-chicka-bowbow action.  

Oh, and like I said, I went to the thrift store.  The big item there, in addition to the pots and some used garden fencing, was an awesome wooden trunk.  It looks great in my living room and the cats have claimed it as a new bed.  Only $35.  Woot.

And I think that's it for me today.  Loads going on in life.  I just wish there was more writing news to relay.  Maybe next weekend, I'll have something to report.  Anyway, have a great day and a productive week, wherever you are!

Peace out.

Trying Something Different... Again.

 I don't usually market on the weekends, but I'm trying something again.  I mean, after the last week of not-marketing, I'm sadly at 3c earned for the month and 0 orders.  The beginning of the month always looks sad on my KDP Dashboard, but that usually changes pretty quick.  I thought 0 0 0 was bad.  Looking at .03 0 8 is worse. So...

This weekend only, BLINK OF AN I is absolutely free. (Always free with KU.) Pick up your copy of this fast-paced dystopian novel today. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B079X142G2

Monday, Accidental Death will be free. Next weekend, UNEQUAL will be free. The following week Sleeping Ugly will be free.  I haven't decided beyond that.  We'll see.  

Since I'm ahead of the game for a change, I might try paying for an ad somewhere.  We'll see about that, too.  I mean, good lord, I've gotta do something to change this or nothing will change and I'll slip back into obscurity.  (Okay, so maybe I never slipped out of it, but at least I'm moving some books.)

Thursday This n That

Well, there goes New York.  And Virginia.  =o(

I expect NYC will turn into the ghost town that Detroit has become, except the refugees won't be fleeing for better suburbs.  They'll be leaving for other states.  I've seen people wondering why people from shithole places move to nice places and want to change them.  That's WHY they're moving into the nice places... to change them into the shithole places they love.  

Here, there was one thing on the ballot - raise the property taxes in a nearby city so they can give it to the fire department.  It passed.  A little while back, they had the same kind of ballot item for my rural FD and it passed, too.  My FD used the money to erect a brand new, beautiful building... right next to the old building, which they then tore down.  There wasn't anything really wrong with the old building, it was just not new.  Whatever may have been wrong with it could've been fixed at a way lower cost and a dormitory could've been added on, again at a way lower cost.  But they didn't have to do that because they can just add to our property taxes instead of finding a way to be fiscally responsible.  That's the way government works these days, I guess.  Well, most people these days, I guess.  

I can't seem to muster the will to do anything these days.  Except maybe vegging out in front of the TV.  I think Bradbury warned about that.  Probably others, too.

I've made 3c so far this month.  Woot.

Finn's wandering around the house meowing.  I feel ya, little dude.

Yesterday, I did Wallyworld.  Everything is so damn expensive.  Freakin' half-dozen donuts is about $4.50.  Yeah, I bought 'em.  Cuz I needed donuts.  Custard filled with chocolate frosting.  Mmm.  I bought 'em with my own damn money, so yeah.

Yes, I am cranky, why do you ask?  I have active bitch fingers to go with my resting bitch face.

On a happier note, we're seeing bucks.  They're chasing the does and sometimes the fawns.  The other day, I happened to look out the window to see a doe run across the neighbor's yard.  Shortly after a fawn went by, trying to catch up.  Then a buck went by.  A few minutes later, another doe, then fawn, then... wait that's the same buck!  A few minutes later, the three of them went by in succession again.  They must've been running in a circle around the neighbor's house.  I got up to tell Hubs about it, so I don't know how long they continued the race.

Okay, it's time to call the mama.  Have as great a day as you can manage out there.  I'll do the same.  B'bye.