Something my friend Silver posted this morning, combined with a realization just now, made me think. I was the weird kid when I was young, and I'm probably still the weird kid.
I'm the youngest of five with over five years separating me from my next oldest sibling and eleven years separating me from the oldest. I'm sure they played with me. I know they babysat me and let me tag along and stuff, but for the most part, I lived inside my head. Plus, we lived out in the country. There were a few other kids around, but meh. My best friend was the dog.
So, I made up stories. I lived grand adventures on our little acre-plus. Fighting monsters and being the hero of my own plays and singing songs at the top of my lungs (which I'm sure the neighbors loved). I had thrilling adventures in my bedroom, too. I remember turning my headboard into a horse and riding the countryside. (Yeah, not kind on the frame - stripped all the screws, and totally ruined the structure, but I rode that horse on many magical adventures.) The little 7x9' of space expanded to hold entire kingdoms. And it shrunk to the size of me and my books.
Because I did spend so much time up in my head, I didn't understand other kids and they sure as hell didn't understand me. I got picked on a lot - some of which I noticed and some of which went right over my head.
Over the years, the weird kid got tamed. I learned to integrate into the mainstream for the most part. Still, I never quite got to the point where I didn't still feel like the weird kid.
Flash forward to now. I'm a grown woman. I have social skills and everything. But I'm still the weird kid who hesitates to jump into social situations, to put myself out there. And since Hubs retired, I've reverted to living mostly in my head and entertaining myself. So, when the opportunity presents itself to be more active with other people, I shy away. Some small part of me remembers when I would put myself out there and get laughed at, or those strange looks, or the social shunning for some small gaff.
Unfortunately, I'm also a self-published author with marketing responsibilities. And the weird kid in me is all like AARRGGHH!
On the upside, I've found other weird kids out there who get me. Like I said in Silver's comments - Weird kids rock.
What about you? Were you the weird kid? Did you ever get over it or are you still the weird kid? Or are you the stealth weird kid - weird inside but no one can tell?
The creative types always get to be the weird kids, and I'm okay with that. I was the oldest in my family so I had to be responsible on top of being weird.
ReplyDeleteThis post sure spoke to me! When I was a kid and even into adulthood I thought everyone else knew something I didn't. ON the outside I was "in." With the in group, popular, and felt I fit in. BUT in my head I was saying, they're going to find out about me and then they'll know I'm not worthy. I'm not like them. I'm not good enough. I grew up in an alcoholic home. Not sure I can blame everything I felt on that. I believe there are more "weird" kids out there or ones who think they are weird or different than we would ever thing. I've come to realize that the other "in" kids felt as out of place as I did. Honestly, I believe it has to do with learning who we are and learning to value ourselves. Thanks for making me think!!! Hugs Barb
ReplyDeleteYep, *hand up*!! I used to lay on the floor and 'day dream' - drove my mom and dad nuts! But life in my head was, most times, better than real life, so that's where I went! Hmm? Still do when times are tough :)
ReplyDeleteHere's to being weird...and wonderful!!
Yes. This. Exactly. I've learned to hide the weirdness. Most days.
ReplyDeleteMy brother was 7 years older but I really think I was born weird. Maybe because I was adopted. (And man the whoppers I told about that! LOLOL) Or maybe it was just the safety provided by the characters in my head compared to the scary world outside--and when I was growing up, it was pretty darn scary! And yes, I do believe we would have managed to migrate toward each other and discovered kindred spirits, B.E. *hugs*
This post describes me perfectly, except I was the oldest of four. I escaped to my bedroom (and books) or the woods in our three acres to get away from the other kids. When the bullies at school teased me, I didn't even notice (until years later) and they soon gave up. To this day, I avoid social occasions whenever I can.
ReplyDeleteI'm still weird. No wonder I like to hang out here so much. :-)
I was a military brat, 6 schools in 3 different countries by the time I was 11. Also middle of 3 sisters, so disadvantaged straight off the bat. I was extremely shy and my escape was reading. I didn't talk to or understand boys at all, still think they're an alien species! At 15 friends took me in hand & taught me girl stuff and I learned how to hid the shy behind the extrovert. At 54 & a self proclaimed sci fi geek, I've come to believe we all have masks (sometimes several depending on the situation we find ourselves faced with) and even the most confident beautiful people have a reason to cower behind them. So weird? Yep, embrace the weird.
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