Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Nobody Loves Me, Nobody Cares

Not really.  It's just something I say to myself when I don't get any email - especially when I'm expecting emails (like during query time).  And it's a phrase I was reminded of this morning when I read Kerry Schafer's post over at Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers: Going to the Garden to Eat Worms.  It's all about negative self-talk and trust me when I tell you, I used to be the Queen of Negative Self Talk.

Oh my god, I was nasty to myself.  And Kerry's right - I would never EVER have said any of the things I told myself to another human being.  "You suck" "Stupid Bitch" "Fat cow" "No one will ever... love you, publish you, be your friend... pick one."  Yeah, I wouldn't even think of saying those things to someone else.  Never had a problem saying them to myself, though, which is the tragedy of it all.  For years, I was nicer to other people than I was to myself.

Lucky for me, I realized years ago what all that negative self talk was doing.  Or to borrow a line from Monty Python: "I got better."

Think about it, though...  Since we're in our own company 100% of our entire lives, we really should be nicer to ourselves.  In fact, we should be the nicest to ourselves.  And ya know what?  Being nicer to ourselves tends to lead to being nicer in general.  Plus, if you are nice to yourself, it's easier to take when other people aren't so nice to you.  Because, if you love yourself, then the opinions of other outside people really don't matter so much.

So, starting today, I want you all to be nicer to yourselves.

What are some of the nasty things you tell yourself?  And how can you change them into positive things to tell yourself?

6 comments:

  1. I thought I was the only one with the "nobody loves me" response to no email. We are all in this together - and yes, it's time to start playing nice.

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  2. LOL, nope. It actually got to the point where I would start with Nobody Loves Me and my daughter would finish with Nobody Cares because she'd heard me say it so much.

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  3. I so do this - I try hard not to, but it's like a default with me. My biggest self-criticism is 'lazy' - in reality, I know I'm not...like I said, default! And the e-mail thing? Yep, guilty - more so if I've sent an e-mail and then nothing comes back!! Plain ole crazypants!!!

    Off to read Kerry's blog post.

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    1. You, lazy?? Think not. And you can't call yourself crazypants anymore either, so there. =op (Unless you're totally joking, of course.)

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  4. Ah, the joy of being older than dirt. I figured this out some time ago. I learned to accept me for who I am--all my failures, shortcomings, idiosyncrasies, good points, and successes. It's hard work and requires concentration, but yeah. I can live happily with myself now.

    As for email? I'd do a happy dance if there was nothing in my inbox! I have to sort through almost a hundred at the start of each day--and they never stop. Y'all be careful what you wish for. LOL

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    1. Caught ya anyway, Silver - calling yourself older than dirt isn't nice. You're aged like a fine wine. You're seasoned and experienced. You're wise and wonderful. :hugs:

      LOL, maybe if I ever get to the point there I have loads of emails, I'll learn to relish the quiet days. For now, though, I'm jealous. =op

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