I'm not writing. I haven't been writing. And every time I think about writing, it sets off a wave of mini panic attacks which then makes me go find something else to do. (Although lately, I've been skipping the panic attacks and just finding other things to do.)
Yesterday, I swept all the hard floors in the house and part of the garage. Then I read. Then I volunteered to drive up to town to buy paint so my husband could finish painting the deck. I got paint, another bag of dirt*, weather stripping for the deck door, and nails.
Remember my last post where I talked about being a reading machine. This. This is why I've been a reading machine. Other people's stories interest me more than my own do. And hey, I don't have to worry whether those stories will get published or whether people will hate them or whether they'll debut to the sound of crickets.
Today I'm planning on redoing the rose bed. (*this is where the newest bag of dirt will go.) I have three rosebushes in the bed beside the porch and whoever planted them had no sense of space and arrangement. They're planted kinda like this |__._'_-| Looks like crap and it's driving me nuts.
I suspect it's driving me nuts because I'm not writing and my brain is looking for excuses. Otherwise, the flower bed is really not all that tragic. And the floors don't really need to be washed (even though my brain is telling me otherwise**). The door really does need weather stripping, but not today when it's supposed to be lovely. The iris bed doesn't need to be weeded - those weeds aren't going anywhere. I didn't need to buy that many crocus bulbs... but now that I have them, they do need to be planted - in the redesigned rosebed, of course.
**you know it's bad when I'm giving myself household chores to do.
I know I'm doing all this to distract myself. I hate that I'm not writing. I hate that just thinking about writing makes me want to do something like washing the hard floors and dusting the cobwebs out of the garage. So yeah, I'm distracting myself from myself. Bleh.
What's distracting you today?