Saturday, February 9, 2013

If I Were King of the World

If I were King of the World, I would demand all the real estate websites were rational and intuitive.  Plus, I would make them all interact with each other.  If you went to one, you would find the same ease of use there that you find everywhere else.  I would ensure the map locations were actually the map locations and that every property had a street view.  As King of the World, I would issue a decree that 'full disclosure' actually meant full disclosure, so when it says 'move in ready' it's ready for someone to live there - safely and without fear of electrocution or drowning.

There would be no half-ass remodels.  There would be insulation in every wall.  All plumbing fixtures would be in proper working order.  All light switches in every house would turn something on and off - every time.  There would be contractors who didn't cut corners and did their work on time and under budget. 

If I were King of the World, cute would mean it looks nice - not that it's dinky.  Cozy would mean you felt at home in it - not cramped.  And TLC meant it might need some paint - not a complete gut and rebuild.

Anyone who didn't comply?  Off with their heads!  Or at the very least a long stay in a dungeon that was NOT built to code.  See how you like that damp and drafty hole, you buttwarts.

(Don't ask.  It's been a long and irritating week.)

What would you do if you were King of the World?


  1. Ugh. Salespeople and their marketing "hot" words. Blerg.

    I don't want to be King of the World. However, if I were Czarina of Good Taste, I would outlaw baggy pants worn around wannabes thighs, thus sharing all the non-glory of their Joe Boxers. I would outlaw thongs, and anyone over a B cup must wear a bra. And NO MESH SHIRTS! On anyone!!!!

    Yes, I've been to Walmart. Why do you ask? *goes in search of eye bleach*

  2. Sorry you're having such a frustrating time.

    I have no desire to be Ruler of the World...too much pressure.