Dilemma

I'm at the point in my story (and my writing) where I've backed myself up against a philosophical dilemma. You see, in the process of writing Fertile Ground, I find I'm writing a truly suspenseful story that I fear is one I wouldn't appreciate if I saw it on the shelves. Unfortunately, it's also one I think could really sell well. So far, the writing is strong, the characters have all the makings of people one would truly sympathize with, and yet... I don't like where this book is going.

Sure, I could change it. I can always change what I don't like about any story I write. The problem is, the story would suffer. And if I change what I think needs to be changed to suit my philosophy, I'd be doing the book an injustice. (Not to mention the fact that I don't think the book will be as marketable.)

So, the real dilemma here is: Do I write the book so I'm satisfied with the outcome, or do I write the book the way it wants to be written and satisfy the market?

Right now, I've suspended work on Fertile Ground until I get this figured out. I could just be overthinking all of this. Hell, I could even be afraid to continue because the dreams I'm having lately are scaring the crap out of me. (And yes, I only have these nightmares after I work on FG. Last night I didn't write a word on FG and I slept soundly for a change.) Not surprising since crawling around inside the head of a serial rapist/murderer isn't a walk in the park.

Maybe I just need to set this one aside and work on something different - something that's not sucking the happy right out of me. I do have another speculative story I've been playing with in my head, which would dovetail nicely if Blink gets picked up. If nothing else, the edits on Nano are coming along and I really like the story.

Of course, Fertile Ground isn't dead. Maybe I'll feel better about the story after some time has passed. Or maybe by then I'll figure out how to satisfy myself and the story. If not, it can sit in the unfinished book waiting room with the multitude.

You tell me: Is it just me, or have you ever had a dilemma like this? What did you do? What would you do if you were faced with one?

Or am I just a freak with too much time to think?