Sunday Update - Week 45

Only 7 weeks left to 2019.  Whoa.

I am hip deep in NaNoWriMo.  Wrote every day this month - even though the NaNo site thinks I missed a day.  I forgot to update on one of those days and it won't let me go back and change it.  One day, due to a thunderstorm, I only got 133 words out, but I wrote that day, so it counts.  The counter thing here shows the truth of it.  As of last night, I'm at 11446 words for the month, 9341 of those this past week.  The book itself is at 67322 words.  Anyway, I'm really excited about this.  And as long as I can keep away from people online saying things like 'is your fantasy just a regurgitation of other fantasies?' (a general post, not someone speaking specifically to me) which makes me doubt what the hell I'm doing, I'll be fine.

I didn't do much marketing for the dystopian sale.  With FB not showing my posts to many people, it was almost like 'what's the point?'  I have another sale starting Wednesday and running through to the following Tuesday night - the Once Upon a Djinn books are all 99c/99p.  There'll be paid advertising for that one.

Also, not much reading last week.  I blame NaNo.

In baking news, I made another Romanian apple cake.  This time, I remembered that I had a secret ingredient - hot apple cider drink mix.  Add one teaspoon when you put in the cinnamon.  It elevates it to a whole 'nother taste level.  I also made meatball subs.  OMG, so good.  And BBQ pork chops.

It wasn't the best week for activity.  A lot of fishing at the beginning of the week, but few actual calorie burning things.  I did weigh myself earlier in the week - 179.6 - so that's something.  I can't seem to bounce past that number.  Maybe if I stopped making such yummy food.  ;o)

The fishing right now stinks.  Apparently, I missed the 'fall fishing' thing again this year.  It must've been like a week long or something.  I had people tell me they caught loads of bass, but I didn't catch doodley-squat for fish.  And now it's too cold and all the fish have gone deep again.  Bugger it all.

Speaking of cold, we're supposed to maybe have snow tonight.  I could care less if we ever got snow, but since we didn't want to move farther south than we are now, we have to put up with it when it comes.  Oh well. 

And that's about that for me today.  How was your Week 45?

"Wow, This is Really Bad"

As I sit here, reading through Unequal and attempting to whip it into some kind of okay before it lands on my editor's desk, I hear the words whisper in my head and pop out my mouth.  "Wow, this is really bad."

Wooden dialogue.  Lame descriptions.  Purpley prose. 

Yuck. 

Not the entire manuscript, mind you.  Just the scene I'm reading now.  It's BAD.  Blech.  I feel like I need to re-write the whole thing.  But I only have until Saturday to get this ready.  Hell, I'm not sure I could fix it if I had a month. 

And I have to ask myself, is it really that bad, or am I having a crisis of confidence?  (No, I won't subject any of you to it.)  I mean, I don't write bad.  But I am prone to crises of confidence on a regular basis. And the current crisis is a whopper. 

With the entirely lackluster roll-out of Sleeping Ugly, I'm wondering again what the hell I was thinking becoming a self-published author and wondering why I ever assumed anyone would want to buy my books. 

And then there's the review thing.  Losing one review wouldn't be so bad if I had loads of reviews, which I don't - a fact that whispers in the back of my head that if I was any kind of good, people would get an overwhelming urge to write a review.  I don't even spur people into writing a bad review, which would at least mean I evoked some kind of response. 

And the more I think about all the reasons why I could potentially be craptastic, the worse the crisis gets.  An endless downward spiral of crappy internal dialogue.  :shudder:  So I try not to think about it.  Except when I can't NOT think about it.

I'm not sure what I'll do to resolve the issue with this book.  I might just leave the scene alone and see what AWE thinks.  If she comes back and tells me it sucks, then I'll deal with it.  On the brightside, no one out in the world has seen it sucky and no one ever will.  It's not due out until late November / early December, so I have plenty of time to fix it.  Unless AWE proclaims the whole damn thing unfixable. 

Gah.

Do you suffer from crises of confidence?  How do you overcome them?  Or do you just motor through and hope they'll go away, like I do?