Neurotic? Who Me?

Just because I'm sitting on a pendulum, swinging between "Oh my god, this is going to be so awesome!" and "Oh holy shit, this is going to suck so bad!" doesn't mean I'm neurotic.

Just because I want to tell the world about my book that's coming out, but I'm afraid no one will want to listen...

Just because I'm afraid to go to the local bookstore for the first time because I think THEY'LL think I'm only visiting there now because I have a book coming out soon...

Just because I wished a forgotten friend a happy birthday on FB after not really saying anything to her for god knows how long...

Just because I sat listening to my husband read Dying Embers (to himself, no less) for the first time, waiting for any slight sound that would tell me whether he still respected me after reading my words...

None of that makes me neurotic. Or maybe it does.

Or maybe it just makes me a writer getting ready to send the first self-published book into the world.

And hey, just because I'm suddenly afraid you're all sick of hearing about my first self-publishing adventures, doesn't make me neurotic.  Much.

Edited to Add:  Oh hey, I keep forgetting.  I have a writer PAGE on Facebook now.  Go like it and the first 50 likers will be entered into a contest for a $25 gift card.   The final cover with the tagline is also up over there with the cover copy!

Day 6: Wherein I Lose My Grip

:cackles:

I sat down to write my 1667+ yesterday evening.  I was being so good.  I cooked chili in the crock pot so I wouldn't be bothered with dinner. We even ate early so I could get right to work after Jeopardy.  (Cuz I gots to flex the brain muscles, donchaknow.)  Problem was when I sat down and tried to pick up the thread of the story, it occurred to me that I couldn't remember some of the characters I'd already dropped into the story.

So I went back over the text, scanning for people names, in order to make a character sheet.  Easy enough. 

It was at that point that a little lightbulb went off over my head.  It's possible I have taken a way larger bite than I could possibly chew. You know, since I picked the hardest possible genre to write quickly - especially when you consider I didn't do any pre-planning.  I mean, seriously... fantasy?  With all its inherent world-building?  "Are you freakin' nuts?" I said to myself.  "Of course," I replied.

I can't even keep the freakin' names straight and I'm supposed to keep a whole new system of magic, within a whole different world, all up in my head???  WTF was I thinking??

But I am forging ahead.  Oh, there are definite flaws.  Like getting one character mixed up with another character and giving girl #2 the traits meant for girl #1 while totally forgetting I even named girl #1 several chapters earlier.  And what the hell did I mean when I said X back in chapter 2 only to have it be completely weird by chapter 5?

But I am forging ahead.  Even though I have no firm idea where any of this is headed.

Sure, as I was laying down for a nap, I had a great idea pop into my head for a whole new beginning which would make the goals and motivations so much clearer.  When I woke up a little later, it occurred to me that no matter how I write my 'great idea', it's going to look like a total ripoff of part of Terry Brooks' Elfstones of Shannara.  Good thing I caught that before I wrote several thousand words toward down that path.  Sheesh.

But I'm forging ahead.  Not sure how firm my grip on sanity is at this moment. 

Heh.  That's NaNo, I guess. 

:wanders away to pick flowers off the wallpaper: