Universal Conspiracy

Strange things have happened to me lately that are starting to make me think the universe is conspiring to make me look like a fool.  Like yesterday...

I was having a fairly good day at work.  I even got a nice quiet end, where I was alone and the phone weren't ringing and I could focus on some stuff.  Then I get a call that there's a delivery headed my way.  The guy gets there, I open the garage door to the delivery area, and he bringing in the pallet worth of stuff.  Easy peasy, right?  

The garage door wouldn't close.  Hit the button, the door moves a fraction of an inch, and moves the fraction back.  Tried it again.  Nothing.  Looked for causes... couldn't find any.  Tried it again.  Nada.

I call the co-worker who lives nearby.  No answer.  I call another co-worker.  He tells me to hold the button down.  I hang up and go try that.  Nope, same thing happens.  Click, move, move back.  I try the first co-worker again.  He answers and gives me a couple more things to try.  I try those.  Nope.  Try the button thing again.  Nope.  

So, there I am with the building wide open and quickly approaching the time when I am supposed to close up and go home.  Now, I wouldn't have minded staying until other people could arrive - they were 40-45 minutes out, but I was told earlier in the day, no overtime.  Okay, so I'm willing to eat a half hour if I have to, but I'd really rather not.

I call the boss.  He's not happy.  There's nothing he can do.  I just wanted him to be aware of the problem and give me the number for his associate who also lives nearby, in hopes that the big D can come and help me fix the door.  I get the number and call the dude.  He arrives.  Yay, I'm not alone in my consternation.  Dude walks around in the bay looking at things and then asks me where the button to close the door is.  I show him and then demonstrate how I held the button down like I was told.

The damn thing slides right down as pretty as you please like there was never a problem to begin with.  Felt like a fool, looked like a moron.  But that's par for the course these days.  On the upside, I had eight minutes to spare before I had to clock out.  Yay.

Anyway, that's just the latest.  A while back, I was closing the office and the alarm panel did something really weird.  Like it always gives 90 seconds to exit and that time it gave 3 minutes, plus it didn't beep or talk like it always does... beep beep beep, exit now... and it shut all the lights off, which it never does.  The next day I tell people about it, in case it's like a new thing, and no one knows what I'm talking about.  That night, when I closed, everything was back to normal like it had never happened.  Derp.

Another time, I had a customer who was totally pissed and read me the riot act, so I took down everything he said and gave it to my supervisor so she could call him back.  I warned her, so she'd be prepared, and the guy was totally not pissed when she called him.  Like only a few minutes later.  Maybe he had a Snickers.  Maybe getting it all out with me took the vinegar out of him.  

Then again, maybe it was the universe, messing with me.  ;o)

This n That Thursday

I was pondering this morning.  1) I'm officially fed up with the election and it's only February. 2) We have nine months until the election. 3) That's like being impregnated by Satan.  You have nine months before you see just what kind of Hell you're in for.  4) Last night, before I had done the month math, we were talking about the election and quoted that poem to Hubs: "What rough beast, it's hour come round at last, slouches toward Bethlehem to be born?"  Creepy when you put it all together.  I think no matter who wins the presidency, we're all going to lose. How bad it's going to be depends on whose ass ends up in the big chair, and we won't know even then until that ass starts issuing orders.

Why, yes, I am a conspiracy theorist.

Speaking of which, we were at the Wallyworld the other day checking to see if they had any .22 ammo in - which we do whenever we think about it while we're in there.  (If you know ammo, you know why. If not, there's a huge shortage of .22 ammo in the nation.  Can't find the shit hardly anywhere.  It's become like a game of Where's Waldo? locating it.)  Of course, they didn't.  We struck up a conversation with the employee helping us.  Turns out he knows a guy who works in an ammo factory and the story is that there's a government ATF dude who shuts down production when he thinks they've made enough rounds.  I said something like 'I believe it, but then again, I'm a conspiracy theorist' and we all laughed. 

I don't know the Wallyworld guy from Adam, so the above could be an urban legend.  Why, yes, in addition to being a conspiracy theorist, I'm also untrusting. I did a Google search a while back to see if I could find actual info about the missing ammo.  I found nothing.  If the above was true, I would think there'd be internet articles about it.  Then again, the goons who suppress ammo might also suppress the news about it.  If I disappear, the goons have suppressed me, too.  ;o)

Found a flaw in Fertile Ground.  "Why can't you people get it through your head skulls?"  This has been fixed.

I get musey when I wake up at 4am.

Anything to add?  Muse away.