Okay, so I started re-writing Djinnocide for the billionth time (really 4th or 5th - it just feels like a billion). And I'm finding myself with the same damn problems I had before. How do you get a book out of a rut? Or is the problem that it doesn't really need to be rewritten at all and that's why I keep coming back to the same plot points?
I've tried writing other things. Really I have. I've tried setting this book so far from myself it's but a mere speck on my writerly horizon. But this story and these people are so awesome I can't shake them. I just wish I could make other people see them the way I see them. (And by 'other people', I mean people who can get this book in print. The other people who've read it all the way through loved it, too.)
Maybe I still need time away. Except I'm itching to write. I can't stop thinking about this story. Jo and Zeke and Tryg and Mary dance through my head taunting me and begging me and threatening to run me through if I so much as try to ignore them. Michael threatened to sue me for breach of contract. Amun even whispered that he'll find a wish to kill me - his own author - if I don't get back to work.
That's a lot of pressure from the voices in my head and... ummm... I'll let you in on a little secret...
I'm afraid I can't do them justice. I mean, I thought I did them justice the first time, but my readers all said I didn't. Hence the rewrites. And obviously the agents all thought I didn't because I've been rejected too many times to bother counting anymore. So here I am, staring down the barrel of another rewrite wondering if perhaps I don't have the chops to put this story on paper anymore. Hell, I wonder if I ever did have those chops.
And yet, I can't stop the voices. I can't shut this story up. This book is pushier than any other one I've written. Jo wants to be out there, sharing the shelves with Toby Daye and Harry Dresden. And I think she deserves to. I just don't know if I do.