Sunday, October 10, 2010

Let The Self-Doubting Phase Begin

Oh, come on.  This phase was bound to happen sooner or later.  Approaching the query process is a sure-fired way to set Self-Doubt off - like some dormant disease, hidden in your genes until some catalyst sparks it into motion. 

What if my plan to keep a few threads loose backfires?
What if it isn't nearly as awesome as I think it is?
What if I can't find an agent who thinks it's awesome?
What if I'm hitting the market at the wrong time... again?
What if people don't find Jo sympathetic?
What if Zeke comes across as irritating instead of charming?
Should I have made Jo's 'front' something more exciting than antiques dealer?
What happens if people don't read far enough to see that the dog and the Bedouin aren't just throwaway characters?
What if they don't like my premise?
What if they don't like my writing?
What if they don't like ME?


The whole thing can seriously paralyze a person.  Geez. I know it used to freeze me up - every time.  Now?  I still feel it, but I try to motor through.  Can't concentrate on it for too long, though, because if I do, I'll feel everything starting to harden until I can't breathe.


Which is probably why I can't seem to get started on my new project.  I let the phase sneak up on me and before I realized it was happening, I'm already frozen.  Damn.  M'selle Self Doubt is a dirty, rotten, stinking, sneaky bitch sometimes.  Pardon me while I go kick the crap out her, and get back to tweaking my synopsis.  Once that's done, I might just write some new words, just to spite her.

Does self-doubt attack you at random times, or does she come on all at once at a particular point in the process?  How do you deal with her?

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