Last night as I was laying in bed not sleeping, a thought occurred to me on how to change Dying Embers. You know, that book I've been talking about because it's releasing like TOMORROW?
Of course, the thought also occurred to me on how I should've better designed the postcards I ordered yesterday to market Dying Embers. Yeah, those are a done deal.
And perhaps maybe last year I should've made myself known to the local bookstore owners, so that when I was ready to have a new book coming out I could pop down there and say 'hey guys, my book's finally ready'.
And obviously I should've kept in contact with all those people I've known over the years who would be tickled to find out I'm publishing a novel.
Needless to say, the night before the night before release day is not the time to be thinking of these things. And needless to say, I didn't get much sleep last night. The endless gerbil wheel of what-ifs and shouldawouldacouldas.
The only thing that helped was a simple thought: It's Too Late Now.
There are a lot of things I can do moving forward. First thing is to remind myself that Dying Embers is already the best book it can be. Sure, I could've done one more pass through reading (and I angsted over that for a good ten minutes at least) but I know I wouldn't have found anything else to polish.
Yes, I probably could've designed those postcards better, but I only ordered 50, they weren't expensive (like .26 each after shipping and taxes), and they'll suit my immediate purpose - to have something I can mail to friends and acquaintances so they have something they can hold in their hands. Next time, I'll leave more white space for a more personal message.
I didn't really have the money to hang out at the local bookstore, and it would've just been weird to wander around their store once a week or whatever, not buying anything so I could make sure they knew my name when the time came. (Quite honestly, I've stayed away from the bookstore because I've been on a tight book budget, and I know I would've blown quadruple that every freakin' time I stepped through the door. I know me.)
Yeah, all those people. My former customers, my ex co-workers, forgotten friends... They haven't really stumbled over themselves to stay in contact with me either. They're busy people, I'm a busy person. We all get that. I do know that some of my customers still ask about me from time to time, so hopefully when they ask, the answer will be 'she's published a novel'. As for old friends, I still have a few awesome friends from my time in FL, and we keep in touch via FB, so I'm not totally bereft.
I guess my point is... yeah, I had a point before I started this... is that this is pre-release jitters held up under a magnifying glass for all of you to see. I assume I'm not the only writer who does this - chime in published friends - and it's natural. Yeah, I'm going to worry over every word in that book because it's out there in the world and I can't change it now without totally upsetting the apple-cart and spilling Granny Smiths all over the street.
This is me. This is the process. And I'm trying to be as honest as I can about all this without scaring the hell out of potential readers.
BTW, the postcards are due to arrive 2/25 and I have a shortlist of people who'll be seeing one in the mail shortly thereafter. If you're interested in receiving a lovely 4x6" postcard, signed by me, let me know. They're basically the cover of the book on one side with the blurb on half of the other and space for an address on the other half of the other side.
Ack, now I have to work on my signature - which for checks and things is totally illegible and utilizes my full first name. Basically something like this: B~~~ S~~d~~~~~. 10 years ago, it was readable. Honest.