Saturday, November 10, 2012

Who the Hell Do You Think You Are?

Or the All-Encompassing Writing Pitfall.

It goes like this...

"Who the hell do you think you are to try and write something like this?  You're not good enough.  You have no idea what you're talking about.  Everyone will laugh at you for this one.  Or at least every self-respecting agent who gets a glimpse of this will not only reject your book, they'll print off your submission materials just so they can set fire to the pages."

"And then there's the whole 'write what you know' thing.  Which you're totally not doing in this case.  What does a housewife from backwater, piss-ant, scrubby-ass Colorado know about the doings in Washington, D.C.  Who do you think you are, Vince Flynn?  ROFL  Right.  Go back to making shit up with your post-apocalyptic worlds or your genies and leave the reality to the boys and girls who know how to do it right."

"Sure, writing is all about making it up, but readers are going to see right through your smoke and mirrors crap. They're going to KNOW you're talking out the other side of your ass here.  What do you know about medical examiners and engineers and government agents?  Seriously.  You must've been pretty damn full of yourself to even start this project.  No wonder you can't edit it into something good."

"No wonder they rejected your other stuff."

"Hack."

3 comments:

  1. Hey! I resemble those remarks!

    Seriously? Tell that voice to shut the hell up and keep revising. That voice is probably the same one, when you started out, telling you you would never finish a story! I've learned that the voice just ups his game the more you push him!

    Oh, and go read the pep-talk on NaNo today - it's about that voice - you're not alone!

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  2. Stick your fingers in your ears and sing LALALALALALALALALALA at the top of your voice. Or play really annoying ear-worm songs. Then sit down and write a page just to prove The Voice wrong. Then write another page. And another after that. Go to Google maps, plug in an address/intersection near your setting. Go to street view. "Walk" around. Or drive. See? You've been to Washington now. And if you've watched the news, you see all the crap that goes on there. Now write some more.

    That's an order. See you on the other side, soldier!

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  3. LOL, Janet. It does up its game, doesn't it?

    I actually did that the night before last, Silver. After several days of letting the voice win, I sat down and rewrote a whole chapter to prove the voice wrong - and it just got louder. Perhaps it's actually right this time.

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