No, I'm Not Pregnant. I'm a Writer.

We writers spend the majority of our work lives sitting. In my case, it's produced a half-dozen novels and one poochy stomach. The novels I love. The tummy I don't. So before anyone asks...

No, I'm not pregnant. I'm a writer.

Ya know, since I stopped working outside the house, I've noticed a gradual decay of my physical well-being. I thought it was just age creeping up on me, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn't taking care of the things my body needs to be healthy.

Namely I wasn't getting enough exercise.

Enough? I wasn't getting any - unless you count walking from this chair to the couch. I was a slug and I felt like dog doo because of it. My energy level sucked. I was getting all sort of weird pains from doing the slightest things. Mowing the lawn wiped me out on a regular basis. I know "Butt in Chair" is a writer's mantra, but sometimes we have to get our butts out of that chair.

Now I'm walking 3-4 times a week and I've started doing these belly-burning exercises. I still don't know if the belly-burners are working, but I do know I'm starting to feel more fit.

Anyway, here they are:

1) Crunches - Lie flat on your back with knees bent; lift your shoulders off the floor without using your neck muscles.

2) Leg Raises - Lie flat on your back, raising both legs from the floor at the same time in one fluid motion.

3) Reverse Curl - Lie flat on your back and pull your knees toward your chest while keeping your hips on the floor.

4) Captain's Chair - While sitting in a sturdy chair, grip the armrests and slowly lift your knees toward your chest. Keep your back straight and don't use your neck muscles.

5) Flutter Kicks - Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat. Straighten both legs at knee height and alternately lift each leg from 45 degrees to 90 degrees. (Sorta like you kick when you swim.)

6) Full Sit-up with Twist - Lie on your back with knees bent and feet flat. Contract your abdominals and raiseshoulders off the floor. Twist shoulder towards opposite knee and return to starting position. Alternate shoulder to knee.

7) Straight Leg Obliques - Lie on your back and lift your legs staight into the air. At 90 degrees, rotate your legs to either side alternately, keeping your legs straight at all times.

I don't remember which site I pulled these from (if you know, tell me so I can give them credit), but it said you're supposed to do these exercises three times a day combined with a 30 minute aerobic workout. We're pretty close to the three times a day thing, but the 30 minutes of aerobics isn't happening. Instead we walk about a mile and a half every morning during the week.

All of this is supposed to be combined with a sensible diet, and you should start shedding belly fat, which is where the majority of my problems are sitting. Spare tire? This is more like wearing one of those pregnant belly things. Eww. Anyway, I'm tired of looking like I'm expecting, so I'm doing something about it.

Speaking of which, my butt needs to get out of this chair and on to some morning exercising. Are you with me?

*btw, the group of exercises - minus #4 because I don't have a chair like that - currently takes about ten minutes, if that. I expect the time amount will go up as we add reps, but even then it shouldn't bite into writing time too much.